When I hear the words â€œmen are only interested in sexâ€¦â€ I feel angry, angry at how easily as a man I feel I have been judged. It is an instant flash of heat and fire when I feel labeled as an unfeeling block of wood that only wants to sex. Yes, I do love sex but most importantly, I love making love, not as an unfeeling block of wood, but as a deeply loving, emotionally connected man.
I am a man who has focused my last 15 years on learning and connecting with my emotionality. I am no longer the same person, I no longer live in the same part of the world, where I lived for 54 years, or work at anything remotely resembling what I was doing when I started this journey.
What I have begun to understand is that the more I find out, the more I realise I donâ€™t know. This has not been an easy journey for me to learn and understand emotional heart connection and I still feel intensity when I hear this judgment towards men.
Do Men Only Want sexâ€¦.?
Or is it they want more, just don't know how to say it...
I agree, that men have earned this judgment and men including myself have been unfeeling fuckers and there are reasons but really no excuses. I feel sad for myself and all those men who have been conditioned from very early in their lives to believe that emotions are wrong and not to be shown, shared or expressed.
It was confronting for me to accept, understand or even acknowledge how emotionally closed I was, yet that was my normal in my world back then. In my previous life I was in a long term marriage that ended, a farmer and earth moving contractor, and in that world emotions received the same level of social acceptance as contracting a sexually transmitted disease.
For more read on here
The power of owning our desires...
I said to Graeme the other day "I want you to kiss me" and the lack of response I was anticipating (I got the kiss just not any joy, or passion for that matter...) made me wonder if I should look further into what was happening.
The easy response was to get pissed off and go into all sorts of story about why Graemeâ€™s response didnâ€™t meet my expectations resulting in the following:
Making myself wrong: Iâ€™m not sexy/attractive enough, he doesnâ€™t desire/love me anymore (victim)
Making him wrong: Heâ€™s just a ....for not giving me what I want, heâ€™s just closed down (perpetrator)
Understanding his potential perspective: Maybe heâ€™s just having a bad day (rescuer)
Letting go of personal judgement: the timing wasnâ€™t right (higher self)
Looking a little further I replayed the experience not just in my mind but also felt it in my body.
I took what I learned into a whole new approach that had a wow result!
To see how read on here