Is it holding you back?
"Imagine if you found a lump, would you get it checked out quickly or let it go? If you let it go for 6 years you may be in some serious trouble.... as with couples having difficulties in their relationship, many wait an average of six years of being unhappy with their relationship before getting help," says John Gottman, emeritus professor of psychology and renowned relationship expert.
The answers themselves are sometimes more challenging than â€œ10 Tips To Save Your Marriageâ€™ might imply, but they are out there and your answers are unique to you making it not only worthwhile but exciting to discover them for yourself.
One Size Doesn't Fit All
It is also very difficult to come up with a one size fits all answer to relationship issues, it is more accurate to accept that everyone has them in relationship, in fact theyâ€™re unavoidable and perfectly normal.
At Oztantra, we see the challenge as not about the problemâ€™s themselves, but how each individual takes responsibility
in owning and resolving them.
Relationship problems are a universal fact of life and every couple and their particular issues are unique. Their particular relationship dynamics are driven by each individual and their unique personality quirks they each bring into their relationship, such as feelings of inadequacy, an inability to manage anger or to identify and express their needs.
If You Desire a Successful Relationship, Then Make an Effort..
Successful relationships are determined by the degree of effort each individual brings towards resolving their own personal emotional issues and how they bring this into their relationship. Yet many couples remain stuck in suffering or fear, instead choosing to wait on average, about 6 years before seeking help.
Recent research findings on the effectiveness of couples counseling reconfirms the last two decades of research showing that seeking outside help is effective for many couples, with approximately 70% showing positive change. However for 25-30% of couples, counseling is not effective because there is just 'too much water under the bridge'.
Seek help Early...
All the more reason to seek help earlier as not only do couples succeed, they also achieve happier and healthier life styles. When choosing assistance, it is important to choose a specialist who can manage sessions with more than 1 person in the room.
Couples dynamics are complex and it takes skill to hold, manage and move through their intensity. Unfortunately, un skilled counseling will not help and can actually make things worse, leaving a struggling couple even more reluctant to seek help.
Relationship distress is found to be strongly associated with individual depression, addiction, anxiety, social impairment, poor health and depressed immune function. And if relationship distress involves parenting, their children are much more highly disposed to these problems as well.
So, why is it so hard to seek help ?
And what can you do about it?