Boundaries in marriage
Last week, I had the privilege once again of going to hear one of my favourite speakers, pastor Peter Scazzero, author of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. Peter shared a powerful mantra: “As goes the leader’s marriage, so goes the church.”
That is at once both awe-inspiring and immensely frightening.
We hear from so many clergy couples experiencing difficulties in their marriages. How can we lead effectively in our churches when our own personal relationships are struggling? How is it that there can be such a disconnect between people who are capable, godly leaders in their professional lives and yet have a hard time being authentically and consistently loving at home? As leaders, we all need to ask ourselves these questions. The pastoral epistles are very clear that those who would lead must be people who can manage their own homes well.
The following quote from Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott’s book Relationships helps explain this all-too-common phenomenon: “If you try to find intimacy with another person before achieving a sense of identity on your own, all your relationships become an attempt to complete yourself."
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