Tēnā koutou katoa

Welcome to our latest newsletter.

Noho ora mai rā me aku mihi nui atu.


Ang Turipa

Violence Free Wairarapa


Listen to your intuition, if you feel something's not right ACT on it
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 111 and ask for the Police.
Where to go for help or more information:
Oranga Tamariki  If you have concerns about a child's safety, you can contact: 
0 5 0 8  -  3 2 6  -  4 5 9
This line is answered 24/7.  You can ring anonymously to talk through a situation before deciding whether to make a formal report.
Women’s Refuge can provide you with free and private advice and support.
Wairarapa Womens Refuge

Crisis    06 377 1717
Office    06 378 2241
            0800 REFUGE (0800 733 843) 

Wairarapa Rape & Sexual Abuse Collective Inc  Provide support for victims of Sexual Abuse and Rape, services include counselling, survivors’ groups and children’s programmes.
06 370 8446
0800 614  614

Family Works  Safety Programmes for men, women and children who have been victims of Family Harm as well as counselling and social work support.

06 308 8028  

ChangeAbility  Offers group and individual programmes for men, women and young people who have been affected by or perpetrate family violence. 

06 377 0933
It's Not Ok  Information line
0800 456 450

Ministry of Justice  Provides information on legal protection for those affected by domestic violence.
White Ribbon  Aiming to eliminate men's violence towards women.

1. What can I do? Tip Sheet  Responding to Family Violence
2. Do's and Don'ts Responding to aggressive clients
3. De-escalation Training AWOCA process

Upcoming Community Network Meetings:
South Wairarapa:
Thursday 19
11:30 am - 1:00 pm
Featherston Community Centre

Thursday 12 September
1:30 - 3:00 pm
Carterton Events Centre
Friday 13 September
12:00 pm - 1:30 pm
Wairarapa Community Centre

If you are worried about your or someone else's mental health, get help from your GP or mental health provider.  If you or someone else is in danger or endangering others, call police immediately on 111.

If you need to talk:

MENTAL HEALTH:  0508 432 432
LIFELINE: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)
SUICIDE CRISIS HELPLINE: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633
NEED TO TALK?:  Text 1737 (available 24/7)

PIKI:  Online support for people aged 18-25 living iin Greater Wellington region including Wairarapa
KIDSLINE: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)

White Ribbon Spoken Word Competition

White Ribbon are holding their first spoken word competition and it’s going to be a night of hot poetry, sizzling truths and fiery performances.

The theme of the night is ‘Respectful Relationships’ so get ready for some amazing rhymes and inspired takes on ending (men’s) violence in New Zealand.

The Spoken Word competition is being held on the evening of the 26th September at Wellington College, with some high profile judges including the Justice – Parliamentary Under-Secretary Jan Logie and some decent prizes (to be announced soon).

For more details click here

Women's Refuge Winter Campaign

Women’s refuge winter campaign for 2019 is “Why doesn’t she just leave?”.  On average it takes a victim 7 attempts to leave an abuser.  This campaign aims to explain why so much professional and knowledgeable support is required when victims of family violence decide to leave.

Family Violence and Sexual Violence Service Provider Update - August 2019

The Ministry of Social Development update for family violence and sexual violence service providers includes:

  • Update on MSD's visits to sexual violence service providers
  • Research commissioned into sexual violence 
  • Funding of sexual harm services for children
  • Whānau Resilience presentations nearly completed
  • Accessing family violence support
  • Improved Protection Order forms available
  • Registration open for national conference ‘Challenging Conversations and Complicated Spaces: Titiro whakamuri, kia anga whakamua – Sexual and Domestic Violence Specialist Services reflecting forward’ on 12-13 September in Wellington

You can read and subscribe to the MSD newsletter here.

Community Based Social Work Project

A message from Kara and Lucy of Wairarapa Community Networks

You may be aware that the Wairarapa Community Networks are part of a project group looking at need for community social work support in the Wairarapa.

We are conducting a survey to better understand the need for social work support services in the Wairarapa and we’d really appreciate you giving us the benefit of your experiences and insights.

Have you noticed any difficulty in people accessing appropriate support when needed? Are you providing support outside of your role or service criteria?

An aggregated summary of the information collected in the survey will be compiled into a report and be publicly available. The summary results of this survey will be used as the basis for conversations about how we could work together to resolve any issues or gaps and improve wellbeing in our communities.

We will be discussing this in more detail at our upcoming Community Network meetings. Please feel free to invite any others who may like to contribute to this discussion (click here to see the dates of the meetings).

Click here for a copy of the intended project outcomes.


Community Response to Family Violence Questionnaire 2019

Changeability receives funding for the provision of local family violence prevention coordination activities that improve outcomes for families/whanau, including:

i) Developing local, effective joined-up responses to family violence

ii) Building relationships in and outside the family violence sector

iii) Sharing knowledge and resources to improve service capacity e.g. through training

iv) Mobilising communities to change attitudes and behaviour towards family violence.
Your feedback via this survey will help us understand what is going well and what could be improved. It will help us plan initiatives and activities for the coming year and provide information back to our funders.
The survey is very short, it should only take a few minutes to complete. Thanks, we appreciate your time and feedback.


Upcoming Events and Training Opportunities


Free Parenting Through Separation (PTS) programme
This FREE 4-hour information programme, designed to assist individual parents who have separated or are contemplating separation.

Skylight Parenting Though Separation courses are held regularly at ChangeAbility HQ.
Course dates/times TBC based on participant request 
Parenting through Separation (PTS) aims to:
  • Identify children’s needs & their individual experience of separation;
  • Provide tools and information to help parents support their children and make the best arrangements for them;
  • Offer information on the legal and support systems available; and
  • Create an opportunity to share ideas & experience with others in a safe and confidential environment.
To register interest or for more information:  04 939 6767 or 0800 299 100 |  |  |  See Flyer here


Parenting Through Separation Programme - It's All About The Kids

Wednesday 18 September, 9.30AM - 2PM 

The programme, funded by the Ministry of Justice, has been developed by professionals who specialise in helping families through separation, and is delivered by experienced facilitators from Family Works and the Community Law Centre.

The programme is focused on providing practical advice and information to keep things as stress-free as possible for your children and to help you work out what parenting arrangements will work if or when you separate.

Topics covered include:

  • how separation affects children
  • what children need during separation
  • keeping children away from conflict
  • talking with children about separation
  • talking with you child’s other parent or carer about arrangements for the children
  • how to make a parenting plan
  • how the Family Justice system works.
For more information or to register, call us on 0800 FAM WORKS (that’s 0800 326 9675) x 2 |  |  Flyer

Further Afield and Online:

SVDV Conference - National Coalition of DV Specialist Service Providers

When: 12 - 13 September 2019.

Where: Te Wharewaka o Pōneke, Te Whanganui-ā-Tara | Wellington.

Organised by the National Coalition of Domestic Violence Specialist Service Providers

Save the date. Call for papers open. More information

Challenging conversations and complicated spaces: Titiro whakamuri, kia anga whakamua - Sexual and Domestic Violence Specialist Services reflecting forward. 

This conference is organised by TOAH-NNEST, Te Kupenga Whakaoti Mahi Patunga -National Network of Stopping Violence Services and the National Collective of Independent Women’s Refuges. 

The key themes of the conference:

  • Kaupapa Māori approaches to ending violence
  • Te Tiriti o Waitangi: implications and responsibilities for agencies and individuals
  • Collaborative approaches and challenges
  • The value and importance of specialist services.

More information


Pathways To Resilience - Annual Family Harm & Domestic Violence Conference

When:    Thursday 17 & Friday 18 October 2019
Where:   Novotel Auckland Ellerslie, 72-112 Green Lane East, Ellerslie, Auckland
Cost:       $185-$420

Key Themes

Whanau/Family Resilience

Youth/Rangatahi Models of Service

Case Studies/ Research Outcomes

Intergenerational Family Harm

Systemic Models of Service

Keynote Speakers

MC - Pale Sauni, Dr Elizabeth Mati / Dr Monique Faleafa - Le Va - Standing Together Against Violence, Cissy Rock - Community Think - Community Resilience, Sonia Marsters - Te Wananga o Aotearoa, Julie Moore / Student Voice - Graeme Dingle Foundation - Resilience/Youth Programmes, Jan Logie - NZ House of Representatives, Hon Carmel Sepuloni - Minister of Social Development, Judge Grant Fraser - Family Violence Court - Agents of Change, Hon Nikki Kaye - Member of Parliament


Peter Thorburn - Meth Education and Solution Services, Caroline Wilson - A-OK - Life Supporting Conversations, Ben Neho / Patricia Matthews - Mahitahi - Te Awa Ora, Ranche Johnson / Natasha Kauika-Stevens - Manurewa Marae, Kyrin Bhula / Dee Gulliver - Private Practise - Reconceptualising Resilience, Brad Hook - Resilience Institute - Bounce, Grow, Connect & Flow

Panel Discussion

Anne Wilkie (Police/Social Investment); Dr Monique Faleafa (Le Va); Patricia Matthews (Mahitahi Trust); Tony Kake (Papakura Marae); Christopher Law (MSD); Julie Moore (Graeme Dingle Foundation)

See New Zealand Family Violence Clearinghouse for upcoming events.

News and Resources

National and World:
How old Hawke's Bay cellphones could be a lifeline for domestic violence victims - 28 Aug 2019

Final warning for repeat offender after assaulting a third partner - 27 Aug, 2019

Violent spate plaguues Auckland: 'It's getting crazy out there' - 26 Aug 2019
Helping people stay in tenancies a 'critical' step toward ending homelessness - 19 Aug, 2019

Gangbusters: Patches on the rise as NZ gang scene 'revitalised' - 14 Aug, 2019

Man jailed for beating, strangling ex-wife to death after argument over heater
- 12 Aug, 2019
Govt takes notes from startup sector to tackle country's big problems - 9 Aug, 2019
Man who beat partner appeals conviction, wants to become social worker
- 9 Aug, 2019

More men needed to help combat domestic violence 5 Aug, 2019
Vic Tamati: Walking away from violence - Jesse Mulligan, Radio NZ, 12 Aug 2019

Growing up in a violent environment, Vic Tamati took that baggage with him into his own parenting. And it wasn't until his wife was forced to take their six kids to a refuge to protect them from him that he sought some help for his anger.

He is now a success story and runs a volunteer network called Safe Man Safe Family  around the country.

Tamati says one of the main problems with perpetrators is that they don’t necessarily see themselves as inflicting violence. He, too, didn’t know it when he used to be violent towards his own family.

To read more and listen to the interview ...
Eve Ensler: 'Writing an apology to myself from my abusive father has freed me' - Kim Hill, Radio NZ, 10 Aug 2019

Forgiveness shouldn't be forced, but even an imagined apology can be transformational, says American writer and activist Eve Ensler.

In her latest book The Apology, Ensler writes an apology to herself from her long-dead father for his sexual and physical abuse of her as a child.
Writing from the perspective of her own abusive father was agonising but ultimately freeing, Ensler tells Kim Hill.

To read more and listen to the interview ...

Access publications and resources including the library and New Zealand Family Violence Clearinghouse - Recommended reading on family and whānau violence from the New Zealand Family Violence Clearinghouse


"Te Hiringa i te Mahara"

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