It's that time of the day when I write with my coffee and one square of chocolate. Second one... gone. Don't tell my husband.
I want to talk to you about the color of blue.
Why? Because my new collection is blue blue bluest blue.
Not / blue s a d / — just sea-infused blue.
And here is why.
I can tell you this story because, to my knowledge, my parents are not subscribed to my àrtletter and won't read. I wouldn't mind, ever, but this time.
I'll try not to create a pity sob story here, just an honest overview of my obsession with Bałtyk Sea.
But first things first.
I was a somewhat sickly child. Migraines every day, with vomiting and fainting. Since I remember. At some point they diagnosed me with a brain tumor but very quickly it was dismissed. I ended up in a hospital for 2 weeks. What eventually helped me was a trip to the Bałtyk Sea and reiki. No, really, a true story, do not roll your eyes...
Additionally, as a child I had constant bronchitis. Took bunch of crappy medicine (which really weakened my little young teeth) but nothing was helping. Eventually my doctor told my mom she needs to take me to the sea to breath iodine.
On day 2 at the Bałtyk Sea— no more coughing.
There is a few stories like that. When the nature comes to heal. These days, every year I go to Poland and I spend at least 1 week by the sea—my and my mom's beloved place on earth. One day I'll buy her an apartment right by the shore.
So, the sea was always there for me. Blue water, iodine, fish smell and all. Always there.
But my mom and my father split when I was 11. Maybe my migraines and sickness was a result of not dealing, who knows now.
I'm sure they both did what the could. Regardless of their marriage situation, my father was rather always available to me when I needed; when I was in trouble, skipped school and did poor stupid kid shit.
But all this time, since they had split, I missed on vacations and trips, and dinners with him. A lot.
Now, every year, since 2007, I hop into my father's car and we drive to the Bałtyk sea to spend a week there. It's magic. Sometimes his friends will go with us and we dance until 5 am in clubs. We walk, swim and laugh. That last year—I will never forget—waves were huge and we were chocking from laughing because the sea was throwing us around like a sack of potatoes. His laughter, my laughter, burning sun, tremendously touching scene. It felt like I got my lost time back.
I made that mental picture.
And in 2007 I've decided that I will be coming back to the Bałtyk Sea as long as I live. Every year, for a week. To honor us.
Because clearly, Bałtyk became a place of my new daughter-father relationship. Each year we buy baltic amber jewelry and trade with each other; he gives me his, I give him mine. I also always buy him a new pair or shoes, which is kind of hilarious.
In art, I am not interested in depicting Bałtyk as it looks in a real life. I love the foam, yes, but the foam is not a bunch of air trapped in a rapid water movement. The foam, to me, is those nostalgic tears from last year when, while this huge wave was coming at me, I looked at my father who was laughing hysterically trying to keep his pants on. And that wave threw me around like a ball of joy and I lost my expensive sunglasses. You think I cared? Meh. I would give everything to the sea at that moment. Or now.
That's what Bałtyk Sea is to me today. A playground for transcending the past.
Last night I was floating over a painting like a seagull. This 30-ish year old daughter who, like an 11 year old, plays in water with her father one painting at a time.
And these are the reasons.
B L U E L A N D S • collection launches this Sunday at 1pm Chicago time.
Just come here and see.
So, this is me. How about you?
Just hit reply and chat with me, if you wish.
walking my soul path
"from moss i learned to steal light" emily warn