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The Good News Paper

"I saw it in The Paper!”
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September 2021
THE JOHN & HEIDI SHOW PRESENTS:
Did You Hear About This?
 
A NEWS HEADLINE From Somewhere in This World: Brought to you by RadioTravelGroup.com.
Polish construction firm Budimex and refiner Lotos have created a floral-scented asphalt. Why? According to the companies, it’s not to improve conditions for people living in large cities without ready access to nature. And it’s not for the sensory enjoyment of commuters who must spent hours fighting traffic every day to get to work. It’s to improve working conditions for road builders. The new bitumen contains a mixture of natural and synthetic essential oils, most of which neutralize the typical smell of asphalt, while the remaining ones add a more pleasing scent. A foreman was quoted by the companies as saying that at times, he can detect the scent of flowers, which made “working more pleasant” (https://bit.ly/364GlHz)


WEIRD NEWS: Brought to you by WeirdGiftOfTheDay.com.
A Texas woman is suing Starbucks over first-degree burns she suffered, claiming she was given the wrong coffee and then spilled it on herself when she gave it back. Mary Simms ordered some joe on April 14th from a Starbucks drive-thru in Tomball, Texas. The employee informed Simms that she was given the wrong drink and when Simms stopped her car and handed back the coffee, the lid came off and the coffee spilled on her lap. “As a result of the spill, Simms sustained first and second-degree burns causing severe personal injuries and damages,” the suit says. The suit argues that Starbucks “knew or should have known of the unreasonably dangerous condition created by the failing lid, hot water and/or liquid of the coffee” and should have warned Simms. The company’s failure to do so constitutes negligence, the suit argues. The suit noted that Simms is seeking less than $75,000 to cover damages including medical expenses, lost wages, the cost of “physical disfigurement” and “past and future loss of enjoyment of life.” A Starbucks spokesperson told Insider that the company is investigating the claims in the suit. Legal actions over hot-coffee burns date as far back as 1992, when Stella Liebeck, then 79, sued McDonald’s after suffering burns from spilled java. A jury awarded her $2.7 million. (https://bit.ly/3Bfc1aV)
 
MOMENT OF DUH: Brought to you by BetterResultsAdvertising.com.
A woman was arrested after police responded to gunshots at a Warren home Monday. Police responded to the house at about 3:30 p.m. for shots fired into a home. The victim told police that she was dog sitting for her friend when her friend’s ex-girlfriend, 26-year-old Trale Kapri Williams, arrived and accused her of stealing her dog. The victim called her friend, who denied that the dog belonged to Williams. According to the police report, Williams started swinging at the victim. The victim then grabbed Williams by her wig, which came off. The victim told police Williams dropped a gun while they were fighting. The victim was finally able to get away from Williams and went inside the house. Shortly after, she heard two shots, the report stated. One bullet broke the front window and damaged a beam and the other lodged into the outside of the home, according to the report. The victim told police Williams left the scene. Police found her vehicle on West Market Street in Warren. Williams was booked into the Trumbull County Jail on five counts of felonious assault and one count of carrying a concealed weapon and is being held without bond. (https://bit.ly/3gvGMAx)
 
Fun Facts For You
Share these with your friends, they'll think you're smart!
Disney World is roughly the same size as San Francisco (43 square miles).
 
Check out more from The John & Heidi Show. Listen every weekday morning from 6 am to 9 am on KCTKRadio.com or at www.johnandheidishow.com.
 

PAST WEEK – NEXT WEEK PRESENTS:
It Happen in History
  • In 1813, the United States gets its nickname, Uncle Sam. The name is linked to Samuel Wilson, a meat packer from Troy, New York, who supplied barrels of beef to the United States Army during the War of 1812. Wilson (1766-1854) stamped the barrels with “U.S.” for United States, but soldiers began referring to the grub as “Uncle Sam’s.” The local newspaper picked up on the story and Uncle Sam eventually gained widespread acceptance as the nickname for—and personification of—the U.S. federal government.
Harry’s Quote of the Month
“You have to get around and listen to what people are saying. Dewey learned that in ’48. He didn’t listen, he just talked – and he didn’t say much, either.”  Harry S. Truman
 
Check out more from The Past Week – Next Week Show. Listen every weekday morning at 10 am on KCTKRadio.com.
  

 “I’ve Got Something to Say…”
By Chris Whiting
 
The Case Of The Unusually Long Prick
 (continue from last month)
After some time, I woke up. I thought, “I don't know how long I've been out, but I bet we're getting close to 20 minutes here, so he's probably going to come in.” And so, I waited and kind of drifted off again. Then I woke up and was like, “I think at least another 10 minutes has passed, and I know I was out more than 10 minutes. I’m sure he’s coming” 
 
And I laid there, wide awake, for about another 30 minutes. But no Joachim. As I mentioned earlier, the pricks will get you when your body moves. I tried to move and it hurt, bad. I also had needles in the pads of all my fingers so I couldn't even carefully use my hands to pull any of them out. Not that pulling out was ever my strong suit. I also had them in the bottom of my feet so I couldn’t get up. I was trapped on this table, like the dumb guy from the Operation game, but with less hair. So, I relied on all I’ve learned about meditation and mindful breathing. Breathe in and manifest him coming through the door. Breathe out, and panic because I’m going to die on this table, but probably not before I shit myself. Breathe in and manifest him...you get the idea.
 
Another 30 minutes passed. Still no one. The treatment room I was in was a short distance from the lobby in this holistic healing office. So, I'm thinking I need to get somebody in here, but I don't want to scream and freak people out in the waiting room. I mean they’re here to find peace, wholeness and healing. Who am I to ruin their experience just because I’m on the verge of a psychiatric breakdown? So, I was laying there and I quietly said out loud, in my calmest voice, “Hello, hello. Hello, help anyone, anyone?” Nothing. I tried various other phrases, still in my calm, quiet voice, because it was keeping me from losing my ever-loving mind. “Help, hello? Fuck me, fuck you, fuck him? Dr. Rosenpenis, paging Dr. Rosenpenis.” No reply. Then I said, “thanks folks, I’ll be here all week.” More instant panic, what if I really was there all weeks?
 
After another 30 minutes or so I’d completely given up hope. Surely, I’d die on this table only to be found by a night janitor with a predilection for necrophilia and voodoo dolls. Just my luck.
 
And then, finally, someone opened up the door and goes,” Oh, I wondered why there was a little light showing underneath the door.” It was Dr.  Ange! I said “Oh my God! I'm so glad you're here.”  She was calm, but obviously confused. “I didn't know you came back in to see Joachim.”
 
“Yeah,” I said. “Joachim was here earlier and put the needles in me. He said he was coming back in about 20 minutes. But for all I know that was last week. Do you happen to know what time it is?”
 
“Sure,” she said, “It’s 3:30.”
 
So, I had been on the table for four hours at this point. JFC.
 
She asked what time my appointment was and I told her, “11:30.”
 
The diameter of her eyes went from normal to Mila Kunis nearly instantaneously.
 
“I'm not trained in acupuncture, but I'm certain I know enough to get the needles out. Are you ok if I give it a shot?”
 
“For the love of God, yes please get them out!”
 
She did and was so apologetic. Although none of this was her fault. It turned out Joachim had left for the day at lunch and told everyone he’d see them tomorrow.
 
I did get a call from him on my way back to my office. He apologized profusely.
 
“I will give you 2 free sessions to make up for it. And again, my sincerest apologies.”  
 
I was thinking, “my God, that's like eight hours of acupuncture. When will I find the time to squeeze that in?” 
 
I decided not to take him up on the free acupuncture. Franzia was more reliable anyway, and it was almost free.
 
So, when I got back to the office, I had been gone for nearly five hours. I carefully made my way to my cube trying to carry myself like a guy who had just taken an abnormally long bathroom break. Turned out not one person realized I had been missing. I knew providing zero value and rarely showing up for meetings would pay off one day, and lo and behold it did.
 

 
TRACY’S TIPS & DIPS PRESENTS:
Tip of the Month
Tip for Using a Plastic Bags from Tracy Noe.
Plastic bags are very helpful when packing your bag when traveling. First, you can place your shoes in a bag so they don't get your clothes dirty. In addition, throw a couple extra bags in there. You can use them while on your trip to hold wet items, like swimsuits, or to separate dirty clothes from the clean ones in your suitcase.
Delicious Dip Recipe
Spinach Dip
  • 1 cup mayonnaise, 1 (16 ounce) container sour cream, 1 (1.8 ounce) package dry leek soup mix, 1 (4 ounce) can water chestnuts, drained and chopped, ½ (10 ounce) package frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained, 1 (1 pound) loaf round sourdough bread.
 Directions:
  • In a medium bowl, mix together mayonnaise, sour cream, dry leek soup mix, water chestnuts and chopped spinach. Chill in the refrigerator 6 hours, or overnight.
  • Remove top and interior of sourdough bread. Fill with mayonnaise mixture. Tear removed bread chunks into pieces for dipping.
 Check out more Tracy’s Tips & Dips. Listen every weekday at 11:30 am on KCTKRadio.com.
 

KCTK RADIO’s WEAK REVIEW PRESENTS:
Joke of The Month
  • Do you want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I’m still working on it!

Picks of the Month
Bar of the Month – Society KC
https://societykc.com

Bar of the Month: Dinner at Jasper’s Italian Restaurant
https://www.jasperskc.com

Happy Hour: Special of the Month – The 40 Bar and Grill
https://the-40-bar-grill.business.site

Check out more from KCTK Radio’s Weak Review. Listen every weekday afternoon at 3:30 PM on KCTKRadio.com.


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KCTK Radio is a streaming station that provides high quality and relevant programs for you to enjoy. Our shows cover public affairs, inspiration, culture and the very best in Comedy entertainment. Do not miss any of KCTK Radio's great programs. Contact us at 913-735-0060. 



The John & Heidi Show
Weekdays at 6 am

John & Heidi are married with two kids and two dogs and two radio stations! They host the morning show and talk about the weird things that happen in this world! 






















Past Week - Next Week with Chris & Paul 
Weekdays at 10 am

Past Week - Next Week with Chris & Paul is the show where we review the most important things from the past week and get you ready for next week. Just listen to us and you won't need any other information outlet. That's our guarantee!  
Also, participate in the LIVE program on Sunday at 10 am. Rebroadcast of this program are aired Sunday evening at 7 PM on Delmarva Talk Radio or Tuesday evening  at 10 PM on Good Talk Radio.



































































































Tracy's Tips & Dips
Weekdays at 11:30 am

Tracy’s Tips and Dips is hosted by funny lady Tracy Noe. Join Tracy as she talks off-the-cuff about the things from her vivid imagination. Rants, ramblings, and recommendations that may make you laugh or cry, but will definitely make you learn a thing or two. Plus, if we are lucky, Tracy will share a recipe for a delicious dunkable treat.  Also, participate in the LIVE program on Wednesday at 7 PM. 

















Let's Eat KC - The Podcast
Weekdays at 2:00 PM

Your weekly update of everything foodie in the KC Metro Area. Reviews of Bars, Restaurants, Food Trucks, Breweries, Bakeries, & more!
Also, participate in the LIVE program on Wednesday at 7 PM.  

 

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