Swapping dating horror stories with my other single woman friends is a favorite pastime. It's both entertaining and a way to commiserate through the trials and tribulations of trying to find a life partner. For those of us who date men, the experience can be its own particular kind of struggle — remaining open to love while also knowing there is a level of truth in the internet's "men are trash” diatribe.
Not all men, of course. We all know some good ones. We are friends with them or are perhaps related to them or have even been in love with them at some point. And yet, the truth still remains: on the whole, men do not make great partners in hetero relationships. And that's according to science. Single women tend to be happier, healthier, and live longer lives than our married counterparts. Throughout the year, we have been inundated with stories about women shouldering the brunt of the pandemic. Between leaving the workforce to take up primary childcare, multitasking between work and distance learning, and caring for aging parents, women have their plates full. Circumstances may have been exacerbated, but this most certainly is not new. The burden of "balancing” work and life has always been placed primarily on women.
It's easy to say that women should just pick better men, but that's an oversimplification of the issue. Not to mention, it continues to place the onus on women when the disconnect isn't purely interpersonal, but societal. Throughout the many articles about the mental toll of the pandemic on women, at no point are the men involved questioned about their behavior or lack of contribution. Consequently, painting it as an inevitability to be endured.