A place to interrogate the norms, gain insights, and get inspired


The inaugural issue of Ivana's Three I's was a hit! The reception has been phenomenal and I enjoyed reading about your own name stories. I look forward to meeting you in your inboxes every week.

Recently, Apartment Therapy featured two best friends, Erika and Natasha, who purchased a house together in Portland. First of all, they nicknamed their home, "The Cougar Den.” How could I not be intrigued? It is a gathering place for their loved ones  and features a heartbreak crash pad for those going through a relationship transition. Most importantly, it speaks to my own desire to create a friendship oasis.

Think about it. Social constructs or not, society creates legitimate constraints for the marginalized. For Erika and Natasha, one of those was money. Becoming home owners on their own just wasn't feasible. So were they just not supposed to own a home? Or were they supposed to wait for a presumed romantic partner to show up? There's something to be said about not waiting for marriage to share the load of life's burdens. In her book, How We Show Up, Mia Birdsong argues that we also place these constraints on ourselves, “hoping for the promise we think ‘normal’ holds.” I can't help but to agree. We use traditions as a crutch. Believing that if we follow the path that has been laid out for us, it's a surefire way to achieve happiness. That isn't to say don't go down that road, but to maybe ask yourself some questions first. How can you create a life that actually works for you if you haven't investigated how those traditions do or don't serve you? Taking advantage of the opportunity to define our relationships and our lives on our own terms creates endless possibilities for the ways in which happiness can be personified.

Up until last week, I spent the last 18 months living with Kelly, my #foreverbestie. Known each other since 3rd grade. Friends since 6th. At 30 (well, I'm still 29, but let's not split hairs), we've been in each other's lives longer than not. There isn't a part of my life that I can't imagine sharing with her, so why not property too? Now, the real dream has never been me living in her guest room, but we have the conversation every so often about what our oasis could look like. In my version, we have a duplex in a city that is not Denver. Whereas Kelly would love for me to purchase the condo next door. Until one of us becomes more amenable to the other's life plan, a den of our own is not on the horizon. Who knows what our oasis will end up being, but nonetheless I love dreaming up all of the options along the way.

Side note: Go check out How We Show Up from your neighborhood library or buy it from your local bookstore. I am obsessed and it is pretty much a promise that it will come up again.


Tell me if this is relatable. You made a choice that you were super excited about — a job, a relationship, a home perhaps — but when it comes to fruition, the reality doesn't live up to the dream. Or perhaps doesn't suit you in the way that you thought it would. Do you stick it out? In the moment, it can feel as if there is no other option. I mean, you chose this right? Absolutely not. That's bullshit. Just because you chose something once, doesn't mean you have to keep choosing it. Cut yourself some slack. You made a decision based on the information that you had at the time. A less than desirable outcome doesn't mean that you failed or even that you made a poor decision. You've simply been given new information which you can use to make a new decision. What is something that would stop the cycle of self-imposed suffering for you?


  • Bethany I., has accomplished quite the feat by paying off her undergrad student loans #cancelstudentdebt. It's also her birthday today, so it seemed fitting for her to start the list.

  • Chloe x Halle's Ungodly Hour is my top album of 2020. Their Tiny Desk Concert is the cherry on top.

  • Brandi C., wrote and self-published her first book: The Modern Yogi: A Guide to Living on Purpose and with Intention.

  • Throughout the pandemic, Elsa Majimbo has been bringing the joy and hilarity on Instagram and TikTok. Now we get a glimpse of the person behind the glasses. 

  • Christine B. and Amber R., started new jobs yesterday. I am so proud of them for finding opportunities that speak to them.

Have your own moment to celebrate or someone else's? Share it with me here.

Now booking new clients for 2021! Schedule your discovery call today. Let's make 2021 the year of I want to and I will.

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