We need daily reminders to shift from our default negative reactions: anger, humiliation, fear, jealousy, defensiveness... to positive responses: acceptance, not taking things personally, trust and self assurance, success instead of retaliation. I call it re-scripting our subconscious mind.
Why the subconscious and not the conscious? Because the subconscious is the mind that responds instantaneously when a trigger is pulled (someone cuts us off on the freeway, our significant other says or does something that we just can't stand, our children behave badly, someone disagrees with us in a meeting).
Think of it this way: your subconscious moves at the speed of a high speed internet connection like cable, but your conscious mind runs at the speed of a dial up connection. It moves very sloooooooowly. So naturally the subconscious will prevail. And it will respond to certain triggers/stimuli the way it always has since we were children because it has been programmed to do just that. The behavior that we saw, accepted and then displayed as we grew up is what is embedded in our subconscious and it will remain there unless we take the time to re-script it. I have found it takes a few minutes a day to generally stay on my path of proactive responses and move away from negative reactions. This is a journey and we will wander off the path that is why the daily reminders are so helpful.
I have set out below my daily reminder sheet that I use to re-script my subconscious. I try to review it at least once a day, and more often if possible.
I have found the more I review it, the more peaceful I am and that is a very powerful incentive to review it as often as possible.
Looking at it just before you go to sleep might help you find peacefulness to help you sleep and then looking at it when you wake up is a very healthy way to start your day and remind yourself of the kind of person you want to be that day.
I will not waste a drop of my precious energy
I will be aware of my default reactions which waste energy
I will script pro-actions
I will practice being still
I will practice my patience
I will make choices
I will accept responsibility for those choices
I will be kind
I will honor other people’s beliefs and perceptions
I will listen empathetically
I can disagree without being disagreeable
I will be flexible and willing to compromise
I will turn my demands into preferences
I will strive for success rather than retaliation
I will live a healthful life
I will distance myself from toxic people
I will feel fear, assess it and move forward
I will learn today
I will make the world a better place
I will forgive
I will laugh and laugh the loudest at myself
These are the ones that I have found help me the most. Feel free to delete any that do not suit you and add your own. If you have one that you think will help others, please send it on to me and I will share it with everyone.
“Be peaceful… be a lifelong learner…and lead a meaningful life by assisting others…”