When my kid pushes my buttons...
A La Carte Coaching

"My choice!"

By Caroline

Last month we explored how to achieve a different result just by tweaking how we react and focusing on “next time” to make it better yet. But I keep wondering, “Why is it so tough?”
Kids are masters at pushing our buttons—that’s what kids do—but by reacting poorly when my daughter does this, I loose my joy, peace, and fun, and I end up blaming myself. I also create a negative environment for her to grow up in. But, it’s like I’m possessed, I can’t stop myself.

Recently, however, a light bulb went off. My coach asked me a very simple question: “Why did you have her?” I immediately answered, “To enjoy her, to share with her.” That’s when it hit me, it was my choice! I wanted to have her, I chose to have her … so why did I forget that?
I decided to remind myself of that whenever I get triggered by something she does. I remember that I chose to bring her into my live and that what I want is to have fun with her, to enjoy her. This gives me easier access to tweaking my response. I take a breath, remind myself of my Core Values and express them instead of fighting. And again, it’s a matter of time. Little by little, I improve the way I react, and our relationship is getting smoother and closer. And, the more I do it, the more
I’m free to truly enjoy watching her be a kid and experiment with life in her way.
So, I’m inviting you to tweak just one little behavior or reaction when you get triggered—by your kids, your spouse, your parent—and see what happens. I’ll bet you’ll be surprised!

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