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A La Carte Coaching
"Not my monkey!"

By Caroline

One day, a client who was fed up with taking care of everyone’s problems and not feeling fulfilled in the process, quoted this fabulous phrase: “It’s not my circus, not my monkey.” She was tired of carrying all the burden and drama that wasn’t hers to carry, and she decided to stop. So she did. She held firm to her decision, and she just stopped handling everything that wasn’t hers. She started to take actions in line with her true self. She stood tall and strong. She is an inspiration.

Since that day, I have used that phrase often, asking clients, “Which monkey is it?” In other words, what responsibilities are weighing them down that aren’t theirs? What could they do instead? How would they feel if they “just stopped”? Sharing that phrase has made quite a difference in others’ lives. Isn’t it amazing that the things we say one day without thinking much about it can have such an impact later on?
I myself often think about that, wondering if what I take on is mine to carry or if I can just let it be. I particularly face it with my daughter, when she is upset or sad, when the motherly nature makes me want to endorse her pain and solve her problem … but that will be the subject of next month’s newsletter. Now, back to practicing carrying only what’s mine!

Happy Thanksgiving!


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