Volume 19, Issue 26                              December 23, 2014
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"The Advocates for Self-Government is one of 
the freedom movement's leading organizations."

— Ron Paul, The Congressional Record, June 30, 2010
WELCOME to the Liberator Online!

In This Issue

* Merry Libertarian Christmas!

* Will the Feds Bust Santa Claus? 

* VIDEO: "I Saw Daddy Pat Down Santa Claus" (A Very TSA Christmas Song)
* VIDEO: Congress Makes Christmas Come Early: Did Uncle Santa Bring YOU a Gift?
* VIDEO: New Twist on a Christmas Classic: "The NSA is Coming to Town"
* VIDEO: Talking Ron Paul Christmas Ornament — at  Macy's!
* VIDEO: "Grandma Got Indefinitely Detained"

THEY SAID IT: Richard Lamm's famous quote on Christmas and deficits.... There's a government Santa, and he steals other kids' toys.... Is Santa Claus a Democrat, a Republican, or.... David Letterman: It's a TSA Christmas....

* How the Government Stole Christmas

* A Liberty Christmas!

* SPECIAL THANK-YOU GIFTS reserved just for you!
* FREE OPH KITS for libertarian student groups
* Have a libertarian communication event near you! Find out how 

President's Corner

by Sharon Harris

Merry Libertarian Christmas!

Dear friend,
Happy Holidays! And welcome to our annual Christmas issue. 

We've got some special Christmas treats for you. 

First up: "Will the Feds Bust Santa Claus?" This has become a libertarian Christmas classic. It was written several years ago as a Libertarian Party press release by former LP Press Secretary and Advocates friend and supporter George Getz. Thank you once again, George! We love it. 

Then we've put some amazing and hilarious short libertarian Christmas videos under your inbox Christmas tree. Laughs and gasps guaranteed! Share them far and wide.  

And there's more. A special Christmas edition of They Said It brings you short and humorous quotes about Christmas and politics. 

That's followed by a report from  Americans for Tax Reform on just how much the government is adding to the cost of your Christmas this year. You'll be shocked. 

And finally, a Liberator Online holiday tradition since our very first year: our annual Advocates Christmas poem — loved by some, loathed by others, complete with arrgghh-awkward rhymes and exceedingly eccentric rhythms. Read it... if you dare! 

* * * 

When I count my blessings, the tens of thousands of great people who read this publication are high on that list.

Thank you for being a Liberator Online reader — one of the very important people who understand how vital it is to build a worldwide movement dedicated to individual liberty, abundance, and peace.

We have special gifts reserved for you if you make a tax-dectuctible donation before the end of the year. Thank you!

Merry Christmas!


* * *
The purpose of the Liberator Online is to build a stronger movement for liberty. We do this by providing information about the libertarian movement and how to best communicate the ideas of liberty. Thank you for being a part of this!

Learn more about the Advocates and our work for liberty.

Learn more about libertarianism â€” the philosophy of liberty. 

Special News Bulletin: Will the Feds Bust Santa Claus?

(Editor's Note: George Getz wrote "Will the Feds Bust Santa Claus?" in 1999, when he was Libertarian Party Communications Director. It's become a libertarian Christmas classic. Share it with friends!)

When Santa Claus comes to town, he'd better watch out — because the federal government may be making a list of his crimes (and checking it twice).

"Hark the federal agents sing, Santa is guilty of nearly everything," said former Libertarian Party press secretary George Getz. "The feds know when Santa's been bad or good — and he's been bad, for goodness sakes."

Does Santa belong in the slammer? Instead of stuffing stockings, should he be making license plates?

Yes, said Getz, if he's held to the same standards as a typical American.

For example:

* Every December 25, the illegal immigrant known as Santa Claus crosses the border into the United States without a passport. He carries concealed contraband, which he sneaks into the country in order to avoid inspection by the U.S. Customs Service. And just what's in all those brightly colored packages tied up with ribbons, anyway? The Drug Czar and Homeland Security want to know.

* Look at how this international fugitive gets around: Santa flies in a custom-built sleigh that hasn't been approved by the FAA. He never files a flight plan. He has no pilot's license. In the dark of night, he rides the skies with just a tiny bioluminescent red light to guide him — a clear violation of traffic safety regulations.

* Pulling Santa's sleigh: Eight tiny reindeer, a federally protected species being put to hard labor. None of these reindeer have their required shots, and Santa's never bothered to get these genetically-engineered animals registered and licensed. It's no wonder: He keeps them penned outside his workplace in a clear violation of zoning laws.

* But Crooked Claus the Conniving Capitalist harms more than just animals — he's hurting hard-working American laborers, too. Isn't Santa's Workshop really Santa's Sweatshop, where his non-union employees don't make minimum wage and get no holiday pay? Add the fact that OSHA has never inspected the place, and you have a Third-World elf-exploitation scandal.

* No wonder Santa is able to maintain his monopoly over the toy distribution industry: He's cornered the Christmas gift market. Santa dares to give away his products for free in a sinister attempt to crush all competition — just like Microsoft's Internet Explorer. Antitrust Lawsuit Memo to the feds: Is Santa Claus the Bill Gates of Christmas?

The bottom line, said Getz: "It might be tough sledding for Jolly St. Nick this Christmas if the government decides to prosecute him.

"We're just surprised it hasn't already happened. After all, Santa Claus is everything that politicians aren't: He's popular, reliable, and gives us something for nothing every December 25th â€” instead of taking our money every April 15th."


VIDEO: "I Saw Daddy Pat Down Santa Claus" (A Very TSA Christmas Song) 

Hilarious! See what happens when the holiday season's most frequent flier meets... the TSA!

"I Saw Daddy Pat Down Santa Claus" is written and performed by the renowned liberty-minded comedian Remy, produced by Meredith Bragg, and made available by our friends at Reason TV. 
A little over one minute long. 

VIDEO: Congress Makes Christmas Come Early: Did Uncle Santa Bring YOU a Gift?

The $1.1 trillion budget just passed by Congress sure bought lots of gifts and presents for everyone.

Everyone, that is, who's connected to the feds. The rest of us have to pay... while Congress plays Santa to its cronies and benefactors. 

Watch this stunning video and see where some of that trillion bucks is going. Then circulate this video far and wide. 
Approximately 1:30 minutes. From Reason TV, written by Nick Gillespie, produced by Meredith Bragg

VIDEO: New Twist on a Christmas Classic: "The NSA is Coming to Town"

Yeah, they're making a list and checking it... well, we don't know how many times. But ONCE is too many! 

This hilarious (and creepy) song and video from the ACLU is a must-see and a great online share. 

Sample lyrics: 

You better watch out,
You better not Skype,
You better log out,
Yeah you better not type,
The NSA is coming to town.

You're making a list,
They're checking it twice;
They're watching almost every electronic device,
The NSA is coming to town...

.....and more. The accompanying video shows NSA agents in Santa suits, tracking, harassing, recording, and surveilling ordinary innocent citizens — which is what they do every day, of course. Except for the Santa suits (unless Edward Snowden tells us otherwise). 
The video ends with an appeal to reel in the monstrous security state. Now THAT'S a present we'd like to see under our tree!

VIDEO: "Talking Ron Paul Christmas Ornament — at Macy's"

Understand, we're not endorsing this. But our jaws drop every time we see it. Mark Dice gives us a wonderful Christmas example of the over-the-top devotion of Ron Paul's famously fanatical supporters! 

VIDEO: "Grandma Got Indefinitely Detained"

Yikes! In seasons past, Grandma only had to worry about getting run over by a reindeer. But these days...

Grandma got indefinitely detained now
coming home to visit Christmas Eve
You could say she had a right to counsel
but some folks in the Congress disagree...

Internet sensation Remy delivers a timely tune about Christmas, Homeland Security, and the joys of... civil rights abuses. Another instant holiday classic from the funny minds at Reason TV, about 2 minutes 25 seconds. 

CHRISTMAS AND DEFICITS: "Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it." — Richard Lamm, former Governor of Colorado. 

IS SANTA CLAUS A DEMOCRAT, REPUBLICAN, OR... "If Santa Claus were a Democrat, his elves wouldn't make toys. They'd loot them from rich kids and toy stores. If Santa were a Republican, he'd deport all the elves back to Middle Earth. So Santa must be a Libertarian." — online comment by "gatman7," responding to an article at discussing whether Santa is a Democrat or Republican, December 11, 2012.

THE GOV'T SANTA STEALS TOYS: "Too many adults treat government the way kids treat Santa. But government is not magic. ... Many adults want government to cover everything under Santa's flying sleigh. Their wish lists say, 'subsidize my retirement, my big house, a year's worth of unemployment, my medicine, my college loans, my electric car, my auto company, my union, my bank, my bad decisions in general, and my ethanol and solar companies.'  But unlike Santa's bottomless bag of toys, every subsidy government gives to someone must first be taken from someone else. For every happy kid there is another whose toy was ripped from his hands." — Joseph G. Lehman, "Government as Santa," op-ed, The Mackinac Center,  Dec. 25, 2012. 
A TSA CHRISTMAS: "It's so cold that the security guys at the airports are putting their hands in their own pants." — David Letterman, Dec. 7, 2010.

* * * * * * * * * *
"They Said It..." is compiled by Liberator Online editor James W. Harris.

One-Minute Liberty Tip 

by Sharon Harris

How the Government Stole Christmas

Holidays can be a great time to share libertarian ideas with family and friends, so be sure to gather liberty-themed facts, figures and stories specific for each holiday. We often share such information in the Liberator Online as a holiday nears.

With Christmas here, Americans for Tax Reform (ATR) warns us that we don't need to be worried about the Grinch — it's the government that's stealing Christmas. 

In their entertaining report below, ATR provides some genuinely shocking figures about how much government is adding to the cost of your family's Christmas festivities. 

Share this information with your family and friends, if appropriate, and you'll surely open minds and spark stimulating discussions. You can share it online, too, by using this 

(Note: ATR first posted this fun and informative piece in 2011, and unfortunately they haven't updated it as we go to press.  It's still very usable, though. When sharing this information with friends and family, just add "as Americans for Tax Reform noted a few Christmases ago..." in case some of the specific figures have changed since 2011. Also please note, we deleted a section referring to a proposed Obama Christmas tree tax, which to our knowledge is no longer relevant. Have fun!)

How the Government Stole Christmas
by Americans for Tax Reform (ATR)

Forget the Grinch — it's the government that's stealing Christmas.

So reports Americans for Tax Reform, a non-profit group that works for lower taxes and smaller government. 

The holidays are supposed to be a season for giving and spending time with loved ones. However, Uncle Sam has forced taxpayers to add him and his greedy local and state relatives to their gift list. 

Of an identified $10.72 billion of holiday spending, an incredible 43.36 percent is due to government taxes, fees, and other costs.

If you are one of the 93 percent of holiday revelers traveling this season, you will pay $69.65 in gas taxes for the average $152.47 round-trip excursion — 45.68 percent of the cost of the trip. Taking a rental is another convenient option, but 38.77 percent of your car's rental cost is due to taxation, particularly from state and local governments.

Choose to fly to visit friends and family and 42.47 percent of your trip is made up of government costs. If you retreat from your in-laws to a hotel, remember that 39.39 percent of the cost of your stay is funneled back to the government. In Christmas 2011, the government stuffed its stocking with $3.79 billion in traveling taxes.

Holiday revelers enjoy an estimated $992 million in alcoholic beverages to celebrate the season. Savor your next mug of eggnog, because 56.31 percent of the price is taxes. Government guzzles 44.33 percent of your seasonal beer and drives up the price of your glass of wine at Christmas dinner by 32.77 percent. Sipping a soft drink won't let you escape frosty government fees — 27.98 percent, or $61 million in taxes, is attached to the cost of soda.

When Santa comes down the chimney this year, he'll have to save room in his sack for Uncle Sam's gifts. Government gets $21 billion of a cumulative $69.1 billion spent on presents, consuming nearly a third of Christmas gift-giving.

All told, the government collects around $26 billion in new revenues over the holiday season.

Ouch! That's naughty — and definitely not nice!   

 * * * * * *
Sharon Harris is president of the Advocates for Self-Government.  

Advocates Annual Christmas Poem

"A Liberty Christmas..."

'Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the land
Libertarians dreamed of the ideals of
Rothbard, Mises and Rand.

Enchanted by a vision of worldwide liberty,
Many yearned for better ways to help their neighbors see
The great benefits that would come if they'd only embrace
A philosophy of freedom for all the human race.

At our home the stockings and decorations were up,
We'd left Santa some cookies and milk in a cup.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds
While dreams of Christmas played in their heads.

I in my Advocates T-shirt, and Mom in her Self-Governor's Cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When outside the window there arose such a clatter
That I leapt from my bed to see what the heck was the matter!

Through the window I saw an astonishing sight
That any other time would have given me a fright!
A sleigh pulled by reindeer flying so quick,
And driven by no less than — Jolly Old St. Nick!

As he soared through the air, heading straight to my abode,
I saw the sled carried a tremendous load
Of packages, treasures, treats and toys —
Gifts for all good men, women, girls and boys!

Fast as a jet, right toward me they came!
And I heard Old St. Nick call each reindeer by name:
"Now Tolerance! Now Free Enterprise! Now Liberty!
Onward Peace, and Free Speech, and Prosperity!"

When I heard those names I realized with a start:
"Hey, Santa's one of us — at the top of the Nolan Chart!"

I had always admired this very special man,
Who flew 'round the world without posting an FAA flight plan,
Who crossed national borders with impunity each year,
And never registered his team with the U.S. Department of Reindeer.

Who laughed at licenses and permits and made his own route,
And ran a safe happy workshop far from OSHA's prying snout.
Who lived independent and state-free at the icy North Pole,
Far away from taxes, regulations and the dole.

So I tiptoed downstairs to peep into the den,
To steal a sight of this jolly old gentleman
Who brought such joy to millions in so many lands,
To see him in action — alive, first-hand!

I heard the sleigh touch lightly on the roof,
Strange noises in my chimney and then — POOF!
There was Santa standing boldly beside our Christmas tree,
In his famous red suit — an awesome sight to see!

He took a bite of our cookies and said, "Hmmmm — not bad!"
Then wrote a quick note thanking our youngest lad.
Then he reached down into the bulging bag at his side,
And spoke aloud as he brought out gifts from inside:

"Here's a new computer for Johnny, and the browser's all set
To take him to the Advocates home on the Internet!
While there he can also subscribe for free
To the Liberator Online, the Advocates' acclaimed weekly!

"Sally wants to reach libertarians in her home town,
So I've brought her the very finest libertarian outreach tool around!
Operation Politically Homeless will do the trick —
She'll find hundreds of new libertarians!" chuckled old St. Nick.

Then he pulled out a vast supply of pocket-sized cards
And I could guess what they were, without trying too hard.
"Here's a few thousand World's Smallest Political Quiz cards, too!
That should last her for at least a month or two!

"This family wants to communicate the ideas of freedom clearly,
So Advocates CDs are gifts they'll treasure dearly:
Titles like "Personal Responsibility" and the "Essence of Political Persuasion
Will make them successful libertarian communicators on every occasion!"

From his bag he brought forth yet more great surprises —
Libertarian T-shirts, in all different sizes,
Festooned with clever slogans. Then books galore
By Browne, Bergland, Cloud, Ruwart... and so many more!

By now our living room seemed filled to overflowing,
But still Santa kept on going and going.
He scattered libertarian children's books to fill an empty spot.
"So many great Advocates books — they'll all like these a lot!" 

He was bringing out still more goodies, but I could stand it no more
So I stepped out from hiding and stood by the door.
He smiled at me and winked, and I knew instantly
He'd known I was there throughout his gift-giving spree.

"I just wanted to thank you..." I began to say.
But he held up his hand and smiled in his jolly way.
"There's no need for thanks! It's a great pleasure to me
To give gifts to people who love liberty!

"The Advocates has made it easy for me and my elves —
In fact, we hardly have any work to do ourselves!
For people who want to see our world freed,
The Advocates has just the products and services we need.

"If you want to thank me, the very best thing you can do 
Is to support the Advocates â€” so their great work can continue.
That's why I'm leaving this copy of the Advocates' latest fundraising letter 
Please read it and consider giving a donation — so they can serve the liberty movement even better! 

I wanted to say more, but he put his finger to his nose,
Then — POOF! Straight up through my chimney he rose!
I went to my window, saw the sleigh shoot to the sky,
And as they faded away, I heard Santa cry:

"On, Free Speech! On, Tolerance! On, Liberty!
Our world is yearning to be set free!
One day soon all will see liberty's light —
Merry Christmas to all! And to all, a Good Night!"

What's Happening with the Advocates

SEE SPECIAL THANK-YOU GIFTS we've reserved for you, for your year-end tax-exempt donation.

JOIN THE ADVOCATES on Facebook and Twitter. Fun, informative, inspiring posts! 

FREE OPH KITS FOR LIBERTARIAN STUDENT GROUPS: We're giving our acclaimed OPH (Operation Political Homeless) outreach kits — a $50 value — to libertarian student groups FREE. Learn why OPH is praised as the best recruiting tool in the libertarian movement, and get your free OPH kit

WE'LL COME TO YOU: Email Sharon to find out how you can have a communication event near you. 

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