Advocates Annual Christmas Poem
"A Liberty Christmas..."
'Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the land
Libertarians dreamed of the ideals of
Rothbard, Mises and Rand.
Enchanted by a vision of worldwide liberty,
Many yearned for better ways to help their neighbors see
The great benefits that would come if they'd only embrace
A philosophy of freedom for all the human race.
At our home the stockings and decorations were up,
We'd left Santa some cookies and milk in a cup.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds
While dreams of Christmas played in their heads.
I in my Advocates T-shirt
, and Mom in her Self-Governor's Cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When outside the window there arose such a clatter
That I leapt from my bed to see what the heck was the matter!
Through the window I saw an astonishing sight
That any other time would have given me a fright!
A sleigh pulled by reindeer flying so quick,
And driven by no less than â€” Jolly Old St. Nick!
As he soared through the air, heading straight to my abode,
I saw the sled carried a tremendous load
Of packages, treasures, treats and toys â€”
Gifts for all good men, women, girls and boys!
Fast as a jet, right toward me they came!
And I heard Old St. Nick call each reindeer by name:
"Now Tolerance! Now Free Enterprise! Now Liberty!
Onward Peace, and Free Speech, and Prosperity!"
When I heard those names I realized with a start:
"Hey, Santa's one of us â€” at the top of the Nolan Chart!"
I had always admired this very special man,
Who flew 'round the world without posting an FAA flight plan,
Who crossed national borders with impunity each year,
And never registered his team with the U.S. Department of Reindeer.
Who laughed at licenses and permits and made his own route,
And ran a safe happy workshop far from OSHA's prying snout.
Who lived independent and state-free at the icy North Pole,
Far away from taxes, regulations and the dole.
So I tiptoed downstairs to peep into the den,
To steal a sight of this jolly old gentleman
Who brought such joy to millions in so many lands,
To see him in action â€” alive, first-hand!
I heard the sleigh touch lightly on the roof,
Strange noises in my chimney and then â€” POOF!
There was Santa standing boldly beside our Christmas tree,
In his famous red suit â€” an awesome sight to see!
He took a bite of our cookies and said, "Hmmmm â€” not bad!"
Then wrote a quick note thanking our youngest lad.
Then he reached down into the bulging bag at his side,
And spoke aloud as he brought out gifts from inside:
"Here's a new computer for Johnny, and the browser's all set
To take him to the Advocates home on the Internet
While there he can also subscribe for free
To the Liberator Online, the Advocates' acclaimed weekly!
"Sally wants to reach libertarians in her home town,
So I've brought her the very finest libertarian outreach tool around!
Operation Politically Homeless
will do the trick â€”
She'll find hundreds of new libertarians!" chuckled old St. Nick.
Then he pulled out a vast supply of pocket-sized cards
And I could guess what they were, without trying too hard.
"Here's a few thousand World's Smallest Political Quiz cards
That should last her for at least a month or two!
"This family wants to communicate the ideas of freedom clearly,
So Advocates CDs
are gifts they'll treasure dearly:
Titles like "Personal Responsibility
" and the "Essence of Political Persuasion
Will make them successful libertarian communicators on every occasion!"
From his bag he brought forth yet more great surprises â€”
, in all different sizes,
Festooned with clever slogans. Then books galore
By Browne, Bergland, Cloud, Ruwart... and so many more!
By now our living room seemed filled to overflowing,
But still Santa kept on going and going.
He scattered libertarian children's books
to fill an empty spot.
"So many great Advocates books â€” they'll all like these a lot!"
He was bringing out still more goodies, but I could stand it no more
So I stepped out from hiding and stood by the door.
He smiled at me and winked, and I knew instantly
He'd known I was there throughout his gift-giving spree.
"I just wanted to thank you..." I began to say.
But he held up his hand and smiled in his jolly way.
"There's no need for thanks! It's a great pleasure to me
To give gifts to people who love liberty!
"The Advocates has made it easy for me and my elves â€”
In fact, we hardly have any work to do ourselves!
For people who want to see our world freed,
The Advocates has just the products and services we need.
"If you want to thank me, the very best thing you can do
Is to support the Advocates
â€” so their great work can continue.
That's why I'm leaving this copy of the Advocates' latest fundraising letter
Please read it and consider giving a donation â€” so they can serve the liberty movement even better!
I wanted to say more, but he put his finger to his nose,
Then â€” POOF! Straight up through my chimney he rose!
I went to my window, saw the sleigh shoot to the sky,
And as they faded away, I heard Santa cry:
"On, Free Speech! On, Tolerance! On, Liberty!
Our world is yearning to be set free!
One day soon all will see liberty's light â€”
Merry Christmas to all! And to all, a Good Night!"