Memorable Witch Hunts
Going on everywhere - according to this proud nation's golfing commander-in-chief - depicted above in a recent New Yorker cover. We see the Twitter aficionado extraordinaire (his blocking of users of his feed violates the First Amendment, FYI - yet another lawsuit on the way...) encountering some of Mother Nature's hazards during a round in the cartoon-ish rendition of a golf park.
If he thinks the snakes and gators are scary, wait til he sees the Native Americans who will soon be showing up at his Mar-O-Lago doorstep, reclaiming the land that was once theirs... DJT is, of course - like most of your reading this - an immigrant (father's side Germany, mother's side Scotland).
'Fake news,' claim you? Tough to tell the difference in this day and age, in both the political and golfy realms, isn't it? What with all the supposed experts lurking on the Interwebs, the Golf Channel, and in the print media waters around you... How to decipher, distinguish and deconstruct it all? EASY!!! By hunting witches, of course :)
"How do you KNOW she's a witch?"
Leave it to the brilliant bunch from Monty Python to clarify things for us. Lesson #1: click above, and watch this ridiculously poignant scene from their epic offering "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." It'll put a real smile (as opposed to the phony one some use for purely self-beneficial purposes) on your face, I'm fathoming. Then, per the norm, c'mon back CS' way for some spellbinding perspective on theories & beliefs in the our modern-day (or is it too stuck in the time of King Arthur?) golf instruction arena...
- "How do you know she's a witch?
- She LOOKS LIKE one!"
Amen, dear peasants. And, how do you know what a good golf swing is? By the way it looks? By the #'s that show up on some fancy witch-testing 'scale;' or the like? Oops... have we once again neglected to interview the golf ball itself (heresy? I think not) to inquire about the conditions at impact that any swing (sexy, hideous, or somewhere in between) is producing?
* Is the clubface (primary determinant of initial direction - even the knights of the round table knew that) reasonably square to the target at collision time?
* Is the path and angle of attack of the clubhead within reason (you searching for the Holy Grail of 'zeroing things out?' I understand - but best have a legit witch brew up some rad, other-worldly potion - 'cause you and I and most of my readers are human beings, hence imperfect...) when club meets ball?
* Do you strike the ball near the center of the clubface, most of the time (foot-spray and/or painter's tape work fabulously for this - no need to invest in Christian Doppler's overpriced, and oft-underachieving technology) at the WAY faster than the blink-of-an-eye moment, known as impact?
- "I'm not a witch, I'm not a witch."
- But you are dressed as one.
- THEY dressed me up like this!
-Well - we did do the nose. And the hat."
Phony smiles. Phony noses. Phony hats. Who you pretending to be - on and off the links? Kind, generous and compassionate towards others, and yourself? Or selfish, greedy and short-sighted? Searching for causes to conflicts on the streets and your golf swing - or leaning on well-to-do acquaintances, quick fixes and the trendiest talk around the campfire?
So, question-time this post-memorial day, 2018, boys and girls:
- Who are you 'dressed up' as when you hit the pavement, and step onto the first tee?
- You dress yourself, or just trying to look like someone, or something, you are not (like our accused witch, above)?
- How long do you think the masquerade ball is gonna last?
The beauty of this game we all love is it immediately identifies the posers, huh? Oh, and so will the game of life, soon enough.
Maybe, however, a change of attire could inspire you to greater heights, and greater meaning, in your planet earth meanderings. Hmm... Click above for some late Spring and Summer offerings from my kin at Nike Golf.
"- She turned me into a newt!"
- A newt?
- I got better..."
Bottom line with your golf game, isn't it now? Are you getting better? Your golf guide may have a shed full of frilly toys and a lexicon fattened with fancy, multi-syllabic words (or heaven forbid - a foreign accent to make him or her sound more convincing), but is it helping?
And as a human being, are you evolving and growing - or just stuck in a motley crew like our peasants portrayed in this silly scene? You might very well be the foolish one...
- "Why do witches burn?"
Damn good question, apparently. And you need to be asking the same of your golf guide when it comes just what you are doing, and why? Will the learnings last and transfer to the golf course (the basis for all Train2Trust gatherings)? If not, you're wasting your precious time in search of optimals, averages and trying to swing like someone else - in environments that look absolutely nothing like a round of golf.
Talk about a futile witch hunt... is the logic used by your instructor to help you as ludicrous as what you witness in this Holy Grail scene? Are the offerings based in legit science/evidence-based findings, experience, and intuition and instinct borne of wisdom? Alas, perhaps time to consider the source, once again.
A handful of ideas for more effective, longer-lasting, and transferable practice:
* Use your own golf balls whenever possible (more feasible for short game).
* Conduct more/most of your practice on the playing field, aka the golf course (where you can use your own golf balls).
* Add some consequence, anxiety and desired difficulties (the coolio glasses below...) to your training regime.
What do these goggles actually do, you may ask? Sharpen focus. Enhance feel. Make your practice harder than the actual game (like in other sports). Simple and fun to use - and maybe, just maybe - you'll see what you've been missing.
Click above for the details; contact me for a pair at a preferred price.
Here to help you navigate the witch hunting waters. At my home base of Eugene Country Club, or nearer you, should you prefer.
"Those who tell you 'Do not put too much politics in your art' are not being honest. If you look very carefully you will see that they are the same people who are quite happy with the situation it is... What they are saying is 'don't upset the system.' "
-- Chinua Achebe
~ CS ~