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Slaughterhouse 50

As in the 50 United States of America.  Slaughterings & massacres on a near daily basis now, with no end nor solution in sight.  Kinda like having no clear plan for your golf swing, or game - albeit a bit more dire than the ball & stick game we all enjoy.  Texas and Ohio in the same day, Cali a few short moons prior to that.  And have we already forgotten about Nevada, Virginia, Florida and Connecticut (and the list goes on...)?  

Is there not a better way to teach our children the geography of the US of A?  Click above if you dare, to view the facts about shootings in this country thus far in 2019...

So it goes.  

The phrase is used over 100 times in Kurt Vonnegut's iconic Slaughterhouse Five.  Employed only and always as a comment on death; basically, whenever someone dies.  The ultimate grotesque (and ironic) understatement.

  Today's missive headline a play on words of the book's title, of course.  Nothing playful, however, about remaining comfortably mired in the gun control vs. Second Amendment debate that accomplishes nothing more than finger-pointing and fundraising...

Much like remaining mired in some motion or mindset on the links that leaves you... stuck.  Angry.  Confused.  Bewildered.

Please read on, boys and girls - the alternative title to Vonnegut's 1969 offering was after all The Children's Crusade - for some ideas ("CS Slaughterhouses") on how these tragedies, and KV's literary masterpiece, can guide you to better performance in the golf park, and along life's daily sidewalks...




Everyone loves a good multiple choice question, right?  Like deciding what club to hit in a certain situation (hint: go with your gut, your first impression, and choice).  OK, which of the two objects seen above, the AK-47 rifle on your left, or an edition of Slaughterhouse Five, is more difficult to procure?

And more importantly: which is more dangerous? 


Slaughterhouse-Five was banned from Oakland County, Michigan public schools in 1972. The circuit judge there accused the novel of being “depraved, immoral, psychotic, vulgar, and anti-Christian.” In 1973, a school board in North Dakota immolated 32 copies of the book in the high school's coal burner.

CS Slaughterhouse: "Immolated."  Put that word into your vocab - and perhaps time to immolate assault weapons - along with the long list of trendy swing thoughts you've accumulated, courtesy of our self-anointed golf gurus infiltrating the Intrawebs.  Downright dangerous.

Assault rifles: available on-line, 24/7.  So It Goes..

“My books are being thrown out of school libraries all over the country—because they’re supposedly obscene," Vonnegut told the Paris Review. "I’ve seen letters to small-town newspapers that put Slaughterhouse-Five in the same class with Deep Throat and Hustler magazine."

CS Slaughterhouse: Obscene - like the pseudo-science of what makes a golf ball travel further?  Example: swing your club back as if it was a lightning rod, allow your arms drop in transition, then rotate your pelvis like a Cirque de Soleil performer.  Really?  Anybody bothered to check the physics? I have, and would put aforementioned swing method in the same class as proving the planet Earth is flat.  

Gun purchases: Walmart, or any old sporting goods store.  So It Goes..

Slaughterhouse-Five is still being banned in schools. In 2011, Wesley Scroggins, an assistant professor at Missouri State University, called on the Republic, MO school board to ban Vonnegut's novel. He wrote in the local paper, “This is a book that contains so much profane language, it would make a sailor blush with shame. The ‘f-word’ is plastered on almost every other page.  The board eventually voted 4-0 to remove the novel from the high school curriculum and its library.

CS Slaughterhouse: YO! Fellow citizens of this great land - you blushing yet at the unmistakably American crisis of gun violence? What about that glaring weakness in your golf game?  Turning your back?  Ignoring?  Hoping it'll just go away?  Adopting the So It Goes attitude? Time to drop an f-bomb on yourself, for not putting your big boy or girl pants on, and taking action. 

In response to this ban, the Kurt Vonnegut Memorial Library in Indianapolis gave away 150 free copies of Slaughterhouse-Five to Republic, Missouri students who wanted to read it.

CS Slaughterhouse: You have a few minutes away from your oh-so busy day to give some thought, time and energy to things that do not solely benefit you?  Or, is it all about fattening your wallet, impressing (as opposed to helping) others, and stroking your attention-seeking ego? 

So It Goes..

Street Cred

Most of you (I do have a handful of Tralfamadorians who receive my missives - far more advanced beings than those on this planet...) are currently living in Slaughterhouse 50; have you read Slaughterhouse Five (click just above to procure your copy)?  If not, or to refresh: 'tis a science fiction-infused anti-war novel about the World War II experiences of one Billy Pilgrim. 

Like what you need to ask of any guide, teacher or coach (golf, or other): what is the author's background, knowledge and experience with war you may ask?  Well...

As a prisoner of war at the ripe young age of 22, Vonnegut was in the famously beautiful city of Dresden, Germany.  He was locked up with other Americans in Schlachthof-Fünf, where pigs had been slaughtered before the war, and was therefore an accidental witness to one of the greatest slaughters of human beings in history: the firebombing of Dresden, in February of 1945, which flattened the whole city and killed almost everyone in it.

Powerful experience, I'd say.  Legit street cred.  Your 'guru' ever experienced what it's like to play golf at a high level?  Familiar with the essentials of motor learning and human performance?  Curious, open-minded and constantly learning - or a well-marketed talking head embracing the latest and greatest trend or method?

Ask the questions, brothers and sisters.  Like with the questions we must ask re the ongoing atrocities in our backyards...


The sound “Poo-tee-weet” is a stand-in, a nonsensical noise made by birds that represents the fact that there is nothing intelligible that can be said about war or massacres...

From Slaughterhouse Five: “It is so short and jumbled and jangled, Sam, because there is nothing intelligent to say about a massacre. Everybody is supposed to be dead, to never say anything or want anything ever again. Everything is supposed to be very quiet after a massacre, and it always is, except for the birds. And what do the birds say? All there is to say about a massacre, things like "Poo-tee-weet?”

How you going about improving as a golfer, and human being? Nonsensically?  Put up, shut up and no longer strive to understand, grow or evolve?  So It Goes attitude? Or ask, inquire, and act?  Care, even? 

What sound is your golf wardrobe making these days, anyway?  Dead?  Quiet?  Lifeless?  Click on the Poo-tee-weeters above for some ideas from my brethren at Nike Golf.

Sensible Putting Solutions

Joe Hallett coming to Eugene Country Club

Longtime friend, PGA Adjunct Faculty Colleague, and rockstar LPGA coach Joe Hallett will be with me at ECC at the end of the month! A not to miss learning opportunity.

Joe is the Director of Instruction at the Vanderbilt Legends Club in Franklin, TN, and former GM/Director and Lead Instructor at the PGA Center for Learning & Performance in Port St. Lucie, FL.

None better in the realm of the flatstick than Joe, his list of clients include former #1's in the world Stacy Lewis and Inbee Park, as well as LPGA Hall-of-Famer Juli Inkster, Lizette Salas and Brittany Lincicom.

Saturday, August 31

Aimpoint Session #1: 9:00 AM - 10:30 AM

Aimpoint Session #2:  10:45 AM - 12:15 PM

Cost: $175 for ECC Members, $200 for non-members

Limit six players per session.

One Hour Private Lessons: 2 PM - 5 PM

Cost: $150/hour

So It Goes - and you better let me know ASAP about taking part...

And of course, I'm here to help with any nonsensical pieces in your golf game.


"Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen, or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?"

Kurt Vonnegut



          ~ CS ~
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