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Izzard, Ozzy, and Thoughts that Kill

Eddie Izzard (shout out to from-across-the-pond JT for bringing this to my attention), that is.  Today, he's contributing to better performance on the links for you (that is why you're here, right?), courtesy of his brilliant "Death Star Canteen."  You know, a place where Darth Vader could just go chill, unwind, nibble on a little something. 

And perhaps that's why you play golf: hang with homeys, bathe in the energy of the golf park, take a few swats.  If you're after more - improvement, for example - can do. I'm the host of 'learning canteens' at Eugene Country Club, and in Puerto Los Cabos, Baja Sur, Mexico.  Why not grab a tray full of learning options for yourself, and indulge? Click below for details. 

Ready, set, go! Click up top, or just below; ain't it cool to have choices - like how to hold a golf club, swing that stick, and/or play the game in a fashion suited to you? Is someone telling you otherwise?  Their preference, bias and/or agenda, without concern for the fact that you are after all a case study of one?  Alas, the force is not with them...

Take a few short minutes out of your oh-so busy day (busy doing what, and for whom, might I ask?) for a double dose of poignant hilarity - but beware - vulgarities (not to worry, nothing more vile than the pseudo-scientific golf malarkey + quick fix marketing tactics flung your way daily upon the blue-lit Ether..) within. 

Then swing back this way for some insight on how the dialogue can help you to negotiate the challenges, on and off the golf course...

"You'll need a tray." 

CS: Rules, rules and more rules.  It's part of the beauty of the game we play; can't really have a game without rules... However, there are currently a couple of top players in the world choosing to 'bend' those rules grotesquely - 'leveraging' things one might say - to their benefit. They know who they are, even if you do not.

Let it be - or bring to their attention (ah - the TV and dumbphone cameras never miss a beat, do they?)?  Allow the karma to ripen, or stop the cheating in its tracks?

More choices, and you have the same when you participate: play the game as it was outlined, accepting both the 'good & bad,' or work the system (the same as many do upon life's daily sidewalks..) solely for personal gain? It depends, I suppose, on how you wish to sleep at night, and how many folks will be in attendance at your funeral...

"This is not a game of who the fuck are you..." 

CS: Or is it? Seems greed and ego continues to flourish - except in the eyes of the golf ball (and talk about a true visionary). The ultimate 'revealer of truths,' its actions based 100% in physics; and physics hasn't changed much (at all?) on this Death Star over the past few millennia. 

Yet, you do have different 'parts of self' (canteen worker, Lord Vader, seemingly irrelevant extras, and others) who are there to serve you, when needed in a round of golf.  Have you not become acquainted with them as of yet?  It's time - here's how to discover their identities:

1. Think about, and get in touch with, the emotions you experience on the links, and how they make you feel.  Too many to list - and they belong to you - but consider the foursome of anger, joy, fear & gratitude for a moment. 

2. Find the adjective that best describes your mixed bag of demeanors - then name them.  Go ahead, give it a try right now (yes, there is more to be learned by reading on, but take a little break, like you must do when practicing efficiently on the range). 

Do you need a little nudge, a 'CS Tip' ("tips," BTW, are best left for Churchill Downs - thank you yet again Mr. Burke) to get you started?  OK.

How about "The Victim, Mr. Scaredy-Cat, Madame Calm & Cut-Throat, or "Woe is ME having to play golf?" 

Are you following me?

3. Write your descriptors and your "mini me's" down - yes, on a piece of paper in your own handwriting please - then have it available next time you tee it.  Learn to identify when yours sub-personality peeps pop up (and maybe others come to join the party in the golf park..), greet & acknowledge them, and then take charge as to when they have permission to come out and play.

4.  For example: you are jittery, nervous and anxious on the 1st tee (uh... so are the boys playing the Players Championship this week, FYI).  Summon "Senor(ita) Calm, Cool and Collected" to the rescue!  Can't 'find' him or her?  

- Breathe.  Consciously/meaningfully, deeply, and through your nose, fellow humanoid. 

- Don the cape of the person you are when you are confident in doing something.  Anything. 

Next example: your ball ends up in a crappy lie or precarious position - despite the fact you ripped it in the desired direction.  "The whiner/complainer/hard-luck" bloke or bloke-ess" pipes up; I understand. 

So then, who you gonna ping?  Darth Vader - a badass lord, who will deal with the challenge with all his force, skill and abilities - or Jeff Vader, some helpless, regular schmo who's chronically getting dealt bad hands, and sees no way out?  

End of CS examples - go do your work!

"Did you dry these in a rain forest?"  Good question. Sometimes the idiocy (and obvious solutions) to a golfy dilemna are in fact staring you straight in face, punching you in the gut (that's where your intuition, and instinct, dwell). Yet you are distracted by 'shoulds' (always someone else whispering sweet nothings in your ear) and their comrades. 


- Your ball ends up within 50 yards or so of the hole, there is nothing guarding the front portion of the green, and you are not as adept with your wedges as you would like (that's why you seek guidance from a competent professional golf guide, remember?). 

Why are you hitting it in the air at all, when you don't have to?  Far easier and much more forgiving to roll the ball towards the target (FW metal, hybrid, or putter).

- You struggle more than Darth Vader in the Death Star Canteen procuring his Penne all'Arrabbiata with your driver.  Although hitting it as far as possible (don't believe me, look at the stats and $ won on the Tours..) is critical, so is finding your golf ball and using a club with sufficient loft for your (not Bryson's) clubhead speed to maximize distance. 

No, I'm not trying to sell you a Callaway fairway metal or hybrid (but I just received my new ones, and they rock...), but yes - they can be great options off the tee at times - please do consider.  

"I can kill you with a single thought" 

CS: Amen... #1 cause of golf ball final resting place fatalities, fo shu.  A duo of critical Death Star facts :

- Thought precedes action.

- A bad attitude is worse than a bad swing

Just as you undermine, slay & sabotage desired results with less than optimal self-chatter, planning and programming. Thought I was all out of dry trays, and examples?  Think again:

- "Don't hit it there."  Uh... where do you want to hit it? I realize there are spots where the next shot becomes more difficult - but pray tell people - put your focus & attention on where you want your ball to go. 

No different than when you are making your morning coffee, driving your car (no falling asleep and hitting medians, please), or any one of a bazillion tasks you are incredibly successful at (yes, occasional mishaps occur because you are human - not some divine animated figure, unimaginative robot, or Tour player) throughout the day.

Your mind/body/brain system is hardwired for success, measuring immaculately far beyond the galaxies of launch monitors - until polluted with doubt. 

"I can't do this or that." OK, so we agree. No, you can't fly it 300 in the air (most, not all, of you reading this), but you can do so many other things to help your score.  

Like putt, chip and pitch better.  You want more #'s?  Us golfers take 75% of all our shots from 60 yards and less (yet another somewhat skewed stat, as this does include kick-ins; let's call it 70%).  

Do you have to be big, strong and mobile to execute these partial shots?  Nope.  Sound technique, a splash of random & creative practice + a sprinkle of consequence - and we have a fabulous new dish in your golf game canteen. 

"I need..."  "Mr. & Mrs. Needy" are weI see.  Consider (thank you Dr. Crews :)) "When you need something you give up all your control to do whatever it is you need. It starts running you."

Who's running the show in this Death Star, anyway?  You are in charge (yes, the abyss known as "chaos" is omnipresent, but it's just there to test you, while adding a little spice to your existence, on and off the golf course..), so put out to the universe what it is you want.  Intentions.  Goals.  Destinations. 

Penne all'Arrabbiata.  A dry tray.  A putt that goes into the hole.  A ball that finishes on the green.  A drive in the fairway. 

And FYI: 'it' resides outside of you, when at the end of the day at the canteen (and everywhere else), everything's an "inside job."

Crazy Train

Life, your golf swing, tee to green (often). Off the rails in a heartbeat it seems at times...

How best to manage, and respond to the incessant stimuli?

ALL ABOARD!!! Click above for a listen to a classic from my man Ozzy Osbourne, then buckle up for a few 'vaccines' to help negotiate the crazy trains, in and out of the golf park...

"I've listened to preachers
I've listened to fools
I've watched all the dropouts
Who make their own rules"

Sounds like.... BIN-GO - desocialized media & the Intrawebs!

No rules (back to playing the game of golf, properly..). No gatekeepers. No whistleblowers. Yet...

Not to fear, amigos - CS soon to there more (upon your addictive blue-lit screen), and here, with remote and in-person coaching, as always. 

"One person conditioned to rule and control
The media sells it, and you live the role
Mental wounds still screaming
Driving me insane" 

Me too - could not agree more, Ozzy; and cannot say it better - so I won't.

"I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train"
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
The ledge, ha-ha, the edge"

'Lost' your swing, eh?  It just suddenly disappeared - off the rails - one day, on one shot, or hole?  And then, you lost your confidence and became 'mental.'

Ha ha ha, I've heard that saga more than you can imagine...  The truth?  Your golf swing was in fact on the ledge, trending daily towards a train wreck.  And, because you don't have, nor seek, consistent, competent feedback, it went over the edge.

You, me, Jordan Spieth.  Welcome to the club. 

How then, to keep us on the rails, in line, and a safe distance from the edge?  

- To reiterate: consistent, competent feedback from a credible teacher/coach (see SM & Interwebs for alternatives).

- A detailed road map provided by aforementioned individual on specifically how to travel from Point A, to Point B.

- Efficient and effective practice regimes to expedite the process (see Train2Trust). 


Nearly every week since late 2014, I’ve poured a tremendous amount of time, energy, and resources into the “CS Newsletter” offerings, which remain free.  While many in my vocation have chosen other mediums to communicate (and hopefully help golfers, and humans, alike), I continue to opt for the written word, blending pieces of music, pertinent videos and articles.  The intention: to authentically guide you - my fellow wanderers of the links and life’s daily sidewalks - on more fruitful paths.

If you find any solace or motivation from my ongoing labor or love, or if on occasion a message has managed to put a smile on your face, a tear in your eye, inspirited you take a step back and reconsider all for a moment - or even peeved you into positive action - please do consider supporting it with a donation.  Should you already donate, I THANK YOU.

Click above on recent sunset CS wander-upon-the-links of Pacific Dunes above, to contribute. 

Remote and in-person coaching options at Eugene Country Club, & Puerto Los Cabos, Mexico.  The development of an optimal practice program for you, your needs, and your schedule.  Ideas and referrals in the equipment domain - those sticks in your bag, and your physical body.  Science and evidenced-based help in achieving higher mental acuity on the course.  A competent, comprehensive and on-going loop for learning, regardless of where you are on the planet.

Contact me for a consultation; click on my logo just above for further specifics.


“I find your lack of faith disturbing.”

     - - Darth Vader

          ~ CS ~
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