Gotta love the Allstate TV spots featuring "Mr Mayhem," AKA Dean Gerard Winters, don't ya? How the unbelievable, unimaginable & unthinkable in daily life, are just hiding around each and every corner...
Well, wanderers of global golf parks, the same is true when you put that ball on the peg on that 1st tee. You planning on smooth sailing on the links? Check your compass. You picturing calm seas? Check your weather app. You think an entire round of golf can be pin-pointedly predicted & projected, then played out just as you've pictured? Think again - and then yet again.
Mayhem is awaiting you at all times; it's omnipresent, considering you in fact have 'control' over so little (like where your ball actually ends up - good, bad or ugly lie - regardless of how you struck or executed the shot).
You know the routine here peeps - plus we are all such expert clickers and video-watchers in this day age - so go ahead and watch, listen and read on for some insight on how accepting the inevitable mayhem, then adjusting accordingly to the situations, will put lower numbers on your scorecard...
Somebody spin a yarn in your ear about how easy this game is? A walk on grass, void of consequence, stress and anxiety? A walk in a rose garden? Woopsie... More like getting beat up at times, isn't it? Thrown under the/a bus. Locked in a creepy attic. In search of some legit prep? Look no further than Train2Trust.
"I beg your pardon? I never promised you a..." Words and lyrics from Lynn Anderson to help you better understand; click on our black-circles-under-eyes dude above...
"YOUR lack of impulse control"
Is that a problem for you during the round? You reacting to results, as opposed to responding to them? And why are you getting so worked up in the first place (your emotions can help, and hinder, performance - learn to take charge of, and direct them, to your benefit)? Did you not get the memo about the games of golf, and life, being utterly chaotic (where mayhem thrives)? Best reboot your control-freak meter.
"I saw you eating poop earlier."
So?? A poor shot or two earlier in the round in no way dictates what is about to transpire. Unless you give such poopie past occurrences the power to do so. Your choice. Perhaps you need a golf lesson from one of our furry four-legged friends re optimal mindset on the links: ZERO short-term memory.
"My focus is on the road"
Brilliant - thank you Tina Fey. And just what is your focus on before you hit a shot? What you want - or don't want? Where you want your ball to go - or where you don't want your ball to go? Ms. Fey isn't focusing on what she doesn't want to run into on the road, but rather where she wants to go - despite the major puppy distractions.
Our large human prefrontal cortex allows us to choose (cool, yet another choice) what we wish to pay attention to; where's your focus, attention and intention before each shot, and during every swing?
"I've been plotting to destroy you"
Amen. It's what you do to yourself more often than not before, during and after a round of golf. Pondering all the atrocities of results and buried in expectations, as opposed to the process (and committing to that process). Spiraling into big numbers with total loss of confidence after a few loose shots.
I understand - and you need to understand that bad shots are part of the picture. They, in a mayhem-like form, will happen - like a cat chasing a mouse - so don't be so shocked and awed when they show up...
And stop blaming entities and wasting your precious energy on things that are beyond your control re less-than-perfect outcomes - such as playing partners, course and climatic conditions, and tee time hour.
"Sizing you up and calculating your every move"
Ah, yes........................... you've got all your stats, averages and metrics dialed in then BOOM, mayhem strikes. You had the course charted and dissected like no one's business - then Mr. Mayhem (don't forget about Lady Luck, either) showed up to spoil your day, huh? You ready to put your big boy & girl pants on and look at him in the eye? Or you gonna run away, cry, complain and hide?
"This is a billion years of tiger DNA ready to pounce"
And you've got at least that much hard-wired into your mind/body system, so why are you relying on plug & play toys to do the job for you? As a bi-ped humanoid, you too are designed to aim, align, and solve problems; it's a large part of why we are still roaming the fairways, people. Your DNA allows your to imagine, create and improvise like a superhero designed to battle mayhem. Try plugging yourself back in, please.
Mayhem your best friend on the links? Need some guidance and tools to better negotiate his presence?
I'm here to help. At Eugene Country Club, or a golf park near you.
"If you are protected from the dark things, then you will have no protection of, knowledge, or understanding of dark things when they show up"
-- Neil Gaiman
~ CS ~