You've seen it - right? The outlandish IFC show that takes its name from the sculpture of the same name of the Portland Building, downtown in my (for another few weeks...) hood of Portland, OR. Starring Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen (above, as owners of the infamous bookstore "Women and Women First"), the sketches speak to the absurdities of modern life via its colorful characters, ridiculous circumstances and oft-surreal interactions.
Absurd: like this game we all play called "golf" - and that other one we are all engaged in, called "life." Ridiculous: like the nature of this pastime on the links - and how seriously people take it, and themselves... Surreal: like some of the things that happen when you're playing golf (sorry, all you egghead measurers out there, getting the little white, orange or neon yellow ball from point A to point B is still and art): Inexplicable. Unjust. Outlandish.
Seems everyone's trying to take the chaos, the variability, the disorder (do you have some of this in your practice? You will in a Train2Trust offering) - the fun of the game - out of this walking, swinging and chasing endeavor, by trying to turn everything and everyone into something linear, something average, something optimal.
The Rabbit of Caerbannog
You got 2 + minutes (the time it takes a green reading sloth to properly miss-read a putt) for some ideas that will assuredly help your golf, AND make the sides of your mouth approach your ears? Your perspective, your mindset, your outlook, specifically. I Candacely (that's Candace up top on the right, with the golden locks) hope so :)
Click above on the brilliant troubadours of Monty Python, then 'hop back' this way for a little reality check of the mind...
"You silly sod. You got us all worked up"
You are frequently that 'silly sod,' didn't you know, or notice? Taking the game and yourself so damn gravely, so vigorously, so profoundly. Ever consider just momentarily giggling - at yourself? Then, post less-than-perfect shot, you beat yourself up to a pulp worse than the victims of our snow white, four-legged furry friend. Silly.
Instead, why not take a softer, gentler, more compassionate stand towards you - that broken, cracked (it's how the light gets in, remember?), perfectly imperfect being - when you've given it your all, yet come up a bit short?
What would you say to the toddler just below (CS blast from a bunker past) if he had tried his best, yet 'failed?' If he had a little mishap, albeit with good intentions? If he made a mistake, yet learned from it?
Sorry - pic a little blurry on your blue-lit (go try the SUN light, for a change, amigos - like 20 minutes in the AM) screen? Well, so are the #'s, the 'absolutes,' and the data that so many are flinging your way re your golf swing motion.
All worked up? Over what? Some 'position' you are supposed to be in, à la some superhuman Tour player, or the like? Some mind projection - something that might happen in the next few minutes, hours or days? Something that did happen, that's continuing its constipating effect on your affect? Something that could transpire, good, bad or ugly? Something that's possible (like what you want, or a positive outcome - yes PLEASE!)?
Well, appears that "Time The Enchanter" (the original L.A. Ram mascot, above mini CS) got King Arthur and his mates a tich worked up about the rodent guarding the entrance to the cave. What are you so terribly worked up about on the links, or in life, that you can nary share the faintest of smiles with those in your entourage?
"You tit. I soiled my armor I was so scared."
At least Sir Galahad (to King Arthur's immediate right) is honest. Are you? About being scared? Of change (really, it's just learning something new)? Of accountability (job, relationship, family)? Of that short putt, that delicate pitch, that difficult drive, when it matters?
Good. That's the first step: acknowledging the fear. Then, get to know it, understand and listen to it, even embrace it. Sound sillier than a feminist bookstore, or banging two coconut halves together to simulate the sound of a horse's hooves? I understand. But it's not as silly as ignoring the issue, pretending something doesn't exist, or running away from your fears.
If you are going to "run away, run away, run away!!!" - at least have the proper kicks to do so. Click below for my current favs from my brethren at Nike Golf:
"I'm warning you..."
Try and flee those fears, and they will nibble your bum (as well as your mind, psyche and confidence)...
"Tim The Enchanter" was right, huh? The king and his cohorts underestimated the bunny - just like you underestimate your own abilities, gifts, and talents. Make sure to find a golf (and life) guide who helps nurture your uniqueness & singularity - not some Tour (or Victoria's Secret) model.
And never underestimate the preposterousness that's lurking on and off every tee box, fairway and green, waiting to foil & spoil your plans for that perfect round of golf. It's your choice how to deal with the goofiness, the injustices, the twists and turns of fate: how 'bout a little chuckle and grin, an air of gratitude for having the luxury of playing such a game - and a twinkle in your eye & bounce in your step - in relishing how to solve that next riddle?
On The Horizon
1 Day Golf School with Yoga
Seems this ancient 'medicine' - that's what those 'in the know' call yoga - is everywhere... You noticed (elite golfers pay attention to so much more than those less 'developed') the chalkboard signage in the Portlandia image up top, right? Or were you too busy admiring Toni and Candace's rad necklaces, or distracted by the latest tweet out of the nation's capital?
Well, now you have a chance to experience this moving, breathing, and healing practice in a golf setting: Yoga guide extraordinaire Ali Matt will be joining me at Pumpkin Ridge on Saturday, February 24 for a day full of golf, proper practice - and a yoga gathering pre and post round. A "CS Escape" in your back yard (our Pauma Valley adventure being rescheduled)...
And no - your Utthita Trikonasana - triangle pose, may not look like mine above from many moons ago. Like with swing positions, models and methods that may not jibe with your current composition (if I tried to get there today, I'd be in traction :)), you can benefit, prosper and grow with the regular practice of yoga, without looking like a yogi.
Details & Agenda
- Saturday, Feb. 24, 2018, Ghost Creek at Pumpkin Ridge Golf Club
- 8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: Body & Mind yoga warm up, pre-round with Ali
- 9:30 AM-10:15 AM: Golf warm up with CS
- 10:15 AM-10:30 AM: Tee it up at Ghost Creek, CS in your group for 9 holes (at the very least)
- 3:00 PM-ish: Snack/Lunch and debrief
- 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Train2Trust Guided Practice lead by CS
- 5:15 PM - 6:00 PM: Restorative yoga with Ali
- $250 per person ($200 for Witch Hollow Members)
Shoot me a note on Smitois@Comcast.net (other email was hacked by the Ukrainian Mob...) for more info.
Need some guidance in any (and all) aspects of your golf? I'm here. Pumpkin Ridge for a few more weeks, then at my new home at Eugene Country Club.
"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my ship."
-- Louisa May Alcott
~ CS ~