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Many of us were brought up to be "nice" girls and boys which isn't bad in and of itself. When that belief system screams at you whenever you want to speak up, however, we've got an issue on our hands. Let's shake it...



A few weeks ago on Instagram, I shared that I'm just DONE with people pleasing. I'm done apologizing for asking for what I want, worrying about it after I do and protecting other people's feelings with being overly nice (directness is not meanness).

I've wrapped so much energy and focus into what other people think of me. While I've kicked the need to look a certain way to please others (mostly), wanting what others don't is a whole other ballgame.

I've correlated wanting what others don't with being "too much."

The stories I've created around what I want are dramedies worthy of the young adult aisle. What does it mean that I want something done a certain way with my child? That I'm micromanaging and demanding and the worst person to work for ever. What does it mean that I set boundaries most other people don't? That I'm "the girl with issues" and a bad friend/family member/person and I need to chill out.

I obsess about what other people think of me for wanting what I want and that fear keeps me from speaking up.

...'Til it hit me like an aha brick in the face: I want what I want and it doesn't mean anything about me.

The story I'm making up in my head about what it means to want these things is exactly that: a story. It's not truth. Plus, I don't have the power to decide what other people think my story is. That's totally out of my control!

What I do get to decide is whether I become victim to the story that was programmed into my head, or rewrite it to align with what I believe now.

So I'm tossing my stories out the emmereffing window this week and just wanting what I want. I'm really hoping you'll join me. The stories in your head are yours to rewrite, but you gotta get conscious of what they are first.

This week, pay close attention to the stories playing out in your head around asking for what you want.

Write them down to get a better feel for whether you want to hold onto them or not. Then, decide whether the story you're making up about yourself aligns with what you want to believe (consider how you feel about other people when they ask for what they want), and then, choose.

Choose who you want to be by choosing what you want to believe. Choose, rather than act from programming. Choose and be free.

Here's to wanting what you want without the moral drama,
Welcome to the VIP section, babe! This is where I share my fav finds, happenings and thoughts from the week. Here's what's up in my world now:

Reparenting - If you don't know what reparenting is, it's definitely worth some reading. It's been a huge part of my own healing and I use a lot of its elements when I coach others. This is the best and simplest article on it that I've found so far.

My planner came!!! - Every year I get a Danielle LaPorte Weekly Planner and it's like Christmas when it arrives. It's such a gorgeous, luxurious, intentional way to stay aligned with your goals and cored desired feelings throughout the year. Want one? Get yours here.*

Happy Birthday? - It was my birthday this past weekend and I feel oddly detached from it. Maybe I'm just at that age...but I'd like to believe that there's never an age when you grow out of celebrating! I'm gonna chock it up to the new parent thing. ;)
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