By Gerry Murray. 06-06-2021
(Scroll down for a laugh)
"All meaning is context-dependent." ~ Ken Wilber
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Do you ever feel under pressure (in your personal or private life) to change?
Many people struggle with this. It can create stress and even disease.
A key premise of the coaching profession is that change needs to happen. This is what makes coaching so powerful. Often the focus is on the person being coached needing to change. This may be driven by a desire to solve a problem and/or realising more of one's potential in a specific area of life.
What if YOU didn't have to change?
Sometimes the changes that you are being asked to make are simply not conducive to who YOU are as a person. The results of the changes are incompatible with YOUR values, beliefs, competencies, skills and preferred behaviours. Achieving goals is dependent on the alignment of these factors. Values play a vital role in our motivation to achieve anything.
When forced into situations where we perceive that we cannot easily realise our goals, we can experience demotivation, low energy and not performing as well as we could or have done in the past.
What other options are there?
Something that often gets overlooked is the context or environment. Perhaps, YOU do not have to change at all. A more appropriate approach might be to consider a change of context.
In one's private or work life, this could be getting out of a toxic relationship.
At work, you may realise that you're in the wrong job for YOU. You can't be YOURself, achieve what YOU want to achieve, do the things that YOU enjoy, pursue YOUR interests, work with the type of people that YOU feel connected to.
As the pandemic has demonstrated for many people, a sudden change of context can have serious ramifications.
Context conditions our behaviours. It contains anchors, triggers and stimulants that we mostly respond to at an unconscious level. Therefore, if we want to behave differently or rid ourselves of unwanted habits changing the context or environment is one important consideration.
What if you're in the wrong job for YOU?
I don't often hear of organisations adapting jobs to suit the people in those jobs. You're more likely to be told to comply with what is required. The alternative is to find a job that better suits your skills and work preferences.
We do a lot of work with organisations on this very topic.
When we perceive that our context controls us we can begin to feel helpless. However, this doesn't bode well for a meaningful and healthy life. Being able to shape our context is an important part of being able to realise our dreams and being fulfilled.
So, what changes could you make to your environment or context to create more of what you want in your life?
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What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking, I am changing.
Change is inevitable.
Except from a vending machine.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change.
Imagine if Americans changed from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There would be mass confusion.
Today I crossed the road, changed a lightbulb and walked into a bar
I think my life is turning into a joke