By Gerry Murray. 17-11-2019
(Scroll down for a laugh)
“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.”~ Anthony Robbins
It’s hard to think of a job where you don’t need to communicate with other human beings. Therefore, we’re probably all professional communicators. Even if you don’t accept this, you’ll find that you need communication skills for life in general.
Seven Key Attributes
Decades of modelling excellent communicators has identified the following 7 attributes that many of them have:
- Rapport. They are very good at establishing and maintaining rapport with others. However, they are also very good at building rapport within themselves. We can think of this as inner alignment.
- Empowering Beliefs. They adopt principles that empower themselves and others. As we mostly see what we believe, our beliefs frame the world around us and guide how we behave.
- Outcomes. They create well-formed outcomes or goals. They have a sense of purpose and they know what they want to achieve. They also know where they are relative to the achievement of these goals.
- Action. They act to understand what works and what doesn’t.
- Calibration. They have high levels of sensory awareness and processing skills. They receive and process feedback in a constructive way.
- Flexibility. They use ongoing feedback to adapt what they’re doing, whilst keeping the goal and outcome in mind. If something is not working, they do something else. Anything else is often better than the thing that isn’t working.
- State. They operate from a psychology and physiology of excellence. It’s hard to be effective and produce appropriate behaviours when you’re reacting very emotionally to a situation. This is the domain of healthy mind, healthy body.
Whilst these attributes are useful in our day-to-day interactions with others, they become particularly important if you are responsible for a team of people or if you have to deal with customers. Excellent trainers and coaches will have mastered these attributes too.
What can you do?
As an exercise, if you’re currently having any challenges communicating with someone perhaps explore which of these attributes might explain what’s going on. And remember, if what you’re doing isn’t working then try something else.
I will be expanding on the models, methods and skills that underpin these attributes in my next seminar on the 7th of December. This time I’m teaming up with Junior Chamber International (JCI) to explore how you can make 2020 your best year yet! More info on this next week.
I have also found these attributes very useful in the world of music performance and they guide how I interact with the audience and other band members. We’re performing our last concert of 2019 on Saturday. More details here.
May your communication work well for you this week!
Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes.
I bought a dictionary and when I got home I realized all the pages were blank; I have no words for how angry I am.
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past.”
Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?”
Take my advice — I'm not using it.
A wise man once said... Nothing, he only listened.