By Gerry Murray. 13-10-2019
(Scroll down for a laugh)
“Don’t compromise yourself - you are all you’ve got.” Janis Joplin
How confident are you?
This is an important question because it conditions what you are prepared to do and not to do in life. It affects your ability to reach your true potential. Of course, by definition, we don’t actually know what our true potential is but we often know when we fall short in some aspect of our life.
A dictionary definition of potential can help here: “having or showing the capacity to develop into something in the future.”
To be good at something we must have the confidence to work towards attaining the standard that we or others set for that particular thing. This applies whether you’re an analyst, a manager, a salesperson, a parent, a musician, a sportsperson, etc…
A foundation for regrets
People often come up to me at seminars and tell me: “I’m simply not a confident person”. When I ask them are they sure about that, they confidently reply “Yes”! It seems it takes confidence to admit your lack of confidence!
An identity level statement that begins “I am not a confident person" can lock someone into a life of playing safe, never trying anything new and missing out on lots of opportunities. It provides a solid foundation for regrets.
Is it you or your ability?
As a coach, what I’ve discovered is that when someone says: “I’m not a confident person” they’re often really saying that I’m not confident about my abilities in one area of my life. Once we identify this area of life we can begin to explore their confidence in a resourceful way. It’s no longer the mountain of self-worth that we have to climb but more a small hill of improving a skill. Often, we can identify an area of life where the person is very confident and transfer the learning from that to help them create sufficient resources to address their confidence issues in other areas of their life.
There are many other interesting aspects of confidence to explore and I’ll be coming back to these in the coming weeks.
Three things you can do now
- Ask yourself is there an area of your life where you’d like to be more confident.
- Catch yourself saying “I’m not a confident person” and explore what it feels like to rephrase it into “I’m not confident about my ability to do X”
- Say: "I am confident about my ability to do Y because I’ve done it successfully many times before”. If you’re stuck for an example, you could start with basic things like taking a shower, brushing your teeth, cooking dinner, walking the dog, etc...
If you’d like to work on your confidence in a safe environment, then you could join my next Personal Development seminar in November. Full details here.
As preparation for that seminar, I’ll be updating an e-Book called Confident You that I wrote some 10 years ago and all seminar attendees will get a free copy.
May you do many things with confidence this week...
A priest and a pastor from the local churches are standing by the side of the road, pounding a sign into the ground that reads: "The End Is Near! Turn Yourself Around Now -- Before It's Too Late!"
As a car sped past them, the driver yelled, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!" From the curve, they heard screeching tyres and a big splash.
The pastor turns to the priest and asks, "Do you think the sign should just say 'Bridge Out’?”
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?