I speak to a lot of people about relationships. And I do a lot of work on my relationship with myself. I'm constantly working on being open, honest and loving. And I have a confession. That can be scary. It seems relatively easy to be honest and open. And most of the time it is easy to be loving, to see the best in people and to just love them as they are. Unless of course you have a deep connection with them. If you have a close connection with someone chances are that a part of you is afraid of being hurt. And this is when we can fall in to the trap of feeding the fear monster and starving the love monster.
The same goes for drama. Often we engage in drama because we want to feel significant. Or we want someone to understand our point of view. The thing is no-one can understand our point of view the way we do. They can only ever understand it from their own experiences, beliefs and values. What we are doing when engaging in drama is feeding a monster. We believe that we are right, that our way is better and when we do that we devalue the other person. We can't be close to someone and devalue them at the same time. When we do that we have taken a big step back from love. You can't change others. You can only change you. You can only live your truth and let them come along on the ride.
If you don't feed love it dies. This is a monster that you want to spend time with and feed well. Often love dies because we don't feed it. Relationships break down not just between lovers but also between family and friends when we don't spend time nurturing them. Think of love as that cute monster, the one that even though it is meant to be scary you find it cute, lovely and want to find out more about it.
So starve the drama, feed the love. And live in the moment.
Short and sweet this week.
have a great week.
Til next time
Conflict is drama, and how people deal with conflict shows you the kind of people they are.
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Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things.