Learn about how to reconnect with your partner and with yourself. 
This week, we are discussing:

Men, women, love and libido

Staying connected to you and to the world.

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Ask most people and they will agree that men and women are different. And yet for decades now we have been striving for equality. But if we look at the sexes, we are different. 

I speak to a lot of people about relationships, about masculine and feminine energy and about sex, desire, arousal and intimacy. And what I find is that a lot of people are frustrated. There are many women who put on a masculine mask when they go out to work and then don't know how to take it off when they get home. There are a lot of men who are caring, generous and loving and then get told to 'man up' and there is a lot of non-communication about what enhances feelings of love and desire for intimacy and connection. 

So here it is - my top 5 for each gender to help you understand what makes the 'other' tick and how to reconnect not only with them but with yourself. 

For women

  1. Leave your masculine mask at the door when you come home. Let your man be the man in the home. This means, let him make some decisions, don't ridicule him, and don't demand that he caters to your every need.
  2. Pamper yourself - take time out to be in your feminine - start this in the morning by giving yourself a lovely 5 minute mini massage after your shower. Get a body lotion that you love and use it every morning. This has many benefits. You get to know your body better and notice small changes, lumps, bumps and areas of pain. You get your circulation going and you help your lymphatic system to eliminate toxins from your system. 
  3. Get a girl gang - have some girlfriends that you just do 'girly' stuff with. It might be a movie, pamper days, expos, arty things, whatever. There are just some things that most men don't enjoy that much. Your guy can't be everything to you. He can't be your best girlfriend and your lover. 
  4. Nourish your body - look after it. Exercise on a regular basis, get a massage occasionally, eat food that makes you feel more energised (especially feminine foods) and steer clear of things that either give you a 'junk food hangover' or make you feel less than great about yourself.
  5. Dance, Dance is a very feminine thing to do. Crank up your favourite music and dance around at home or schedule a dance night out with the girls. Yes you can dance with your guy (ballroom, latin or other forms of structured dance are best for connection) but cut loose with the girls to loosen up your feminine energy. 
For Men
  1. Exercise - vigorous, structured exercise. Men know how powerful they are. Exercise is one way of getting that out of the system while at the same time connecting with the masculine. Things like martial arts, boxing, running and weights all help men to connect with that masculine part of themselves. 
  2. Eat well and rest well - many men are burnt out. The constant struggle of working, being on the go all day and then coming home and having to help out with the house, kids and other things leave them exhausted too. It's not just the women who are struggling to juggle everything. Get enough sleep and eat food that makes you feel good. 
  3. Have some mates and do guy things - poker nights, afternoons watching sport, motor sports, building things, etc. I know some girls love these things to but in days of old men had 'guy time' and could come back to the women after being with the guys and appreciate her soft feminine energy even more. 
  4. Be present for your women - when you are with your girl, be there. Don't be flipping through tv channels, checking messages or emails or wondering about things at work. Make some time where you are completely present for her. 
  5. Watch for health signs - things like fatigue, loss of libido, poor sleep patterns etc and get a medical check up annually to make sure everything is in good shape. 
For both genders - learn about each other. What kills intimacy for men is different to what kills it for women.

If a women does not feel heard, seen and protected by you she might not feel safe enough or connected enough to want to be close to you either emotionally or physically.

If a man does feels as though he is constantly criticised, controlled or stonewalled, he will shut down and you will struggle to reach him.  

So there you have my top tips for staying connected. If you want to know more perhaps attend one of my workshops, webinars (starting May 22) or speak to me about personal coaching to help you reconnect. 

Happy days to all 

have a great week.

Til next time



“there's nothing more intimate in life than simply being understood. And understanding someone else.” 

― Brad Meltzer, The Inner Circle

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"Attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. Stay eager." 

— Susan Sontag

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