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Is attachment a good thing? Or is detachment better?
This week, we are discussing:

How attached are you?

And is that good?

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In a world where so much of our interactions are online, it can be easy to feel detached from the people in our lives. We can connect online in so many ways and yet nothing makes up for sitting across the table from someone, hearing them laugh, hearing their stories and crying with them. And yet in the offline world there is still a balancing act going on. 

2013 in Chinese astrology has been the year of the water snake. And so, it has been a year of learning to let go of attachments of all kinds - emotional, mental, physical, financial and spiritual. It's been a year of learning to just be. A lot of what I teach is based on the principles of NLP and human needs psychology. Both of these teach - the part of the system with the most flexibility will control the system & the happiest people in the world are those whose greatest needs are variety or uncertainty and love and connection. And buddhist philosophy also teaches about not being attached to things, people, places. So, if we are not attached are we then detached?

This has been a big lesson for me this year. I am moving from the city where I have spend almost all my life. I have decluttered and given away so many things. I have had friendships come and go. Some were short term and some much longer. And maybe for the first time in my life it feels ok. I ran in to an old friend yesterday and she, like many others, asked why I was moving and if I already had worked lined up where I am moving to. So, this is my answer. I am moving because I love the city of Melbourne every time I visit and also to put me outside of my comfort zone. Where I am now is safe and comfortable. It is very easy to not have to work too hard here to get by. The answer to the second question is no, I don't have work lined up. I do have faith in my own ability to create whatever I need fairly quickly. This friend asked me how I felt about that, was I scared. No, I'm not. 

So, I don't know about you, but this year for me, has been about letting go of those attachments, loving whoever is in my world in this moment and those who have moved on. Do I feel detached? No, not at all. I have a core group of people and family who are there for me. And I am quite comfortable just being in my own space on my own. Maybe it's because I'm just getting older or maybe it's just that I have finally gotten to a place where I can just enjoy the moments, whatever they look like. 

So, this newsletter seems quite self indulgent I know, but I want you to think about your life. What are you attached to? What would happen if that was taken away? And do you spend more time than you need to worrying about that? Sometimes we can be so attached to an idea, a person or our 'stuff' that we spend a lot of time and effort thinking about ways we can make sure it is always there. Wouldn't it be nicer to just enjoy it in the moment. Your worrying won't change anything anyway. 

And finally think about this. The more attached you are to something, the more likely you are to feel broken when it is gone. Think about this. If you join two pieces of wood with a screw or with some glue and then you pull them apart, what happens? the wood will splinter, if you can even get it apart. If you put some wood together just by putting together the pieces that fit together, as if you were building a log cabin, there is far less damage when you take it apart again. So, relax, enjoy and be loving and kind but not attached. Find the pieces and the people that fit with your now. 

have a great week.

Til next time



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“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” 

Dalai Lama

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