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" I don't enjoy speaking but I do it because I have to. I can't think straight and I can't wait to get it over with. I often give 20 - 60 minute presentations at meetings. Is it possible to ever enjoy public speaking?"
S.K., Corporate Health Coach
I'm starting to feel like a dentist. How many people enter a dental surgery and say to the dentist, "Oh, I hate going to the dentist!" And how many people leap out of bed and say, "Oh goody! I'm going to give a speech today!" And yet without dentists and public speaking coaches, there'd be few good orators with good teeth. Or a lot of bad orators with bad teeth.
S.K., rather than speaking to groups, do you prefer to speak with one person at a time? Do you enjoy the trust, relationship and instant feedback you get with a client, colleague or friend? Assuming that you do, I'm going to show you a method, the Cool, Calm & Connected method, for speaking to groups as easily and enjoyably as one on one.
Enjoying public speaking involves 5 very learnable skills:
The synergy of all 5 skills makes speaking in public, whether 1 to 1, or 1 to many, enjoyable.
- Managing speaking nerves;
- "Dropping the mask" to speak from your heart;
- Being grounded and clear about your purpose and message;
- Connecting authentically to inspire your audience to take action;
- Relaxing into the flow of giving impromptu and structured presentations.
Remember when you first learnt to drive a car? You had to turn on the ignition, put the car in gear, check your mirrors, indicate and move into the flow of traffic. One day you are driving along and realise you haven't thought about those individual steps. You did it unconsciously because it had become a confident habit
And that's exactly the same when learning the 5 basic public speaking habits.
The first level of learning is referred to as "conscious incompetence". Doesn't sound flattering, but we are all in the same boat when we begin anything new. As your experience increases, you move to the level of flow, fully present and in the moment. This level of learning is called "unconscious competence." This doesn't too flattering either, but I assure you, flow is good, very good!
In the same way as you effortlessly weave in and out of traffic; having conversations as it were with other cars, I assure you SK, that public speaking becomes an effortless weaving, melding and merging of you and your audience.
Once that nasty self-consciousness drops away, speaking in public becomes very enjoyable.
Some people get addicted to the adrenaline rush with the realisation that being able to speak with natural ease drives you, your career and your business on a freeway, a helluva lot faster than kangaroo hopping in a back lane.
SK, if you'd like to learn more about those 5 public speaking habits, or if you'd like some personal help from the Goddess Of Public Speaking, contact her about a coaching program.
What's not to enjoy, when you know how.
Rate between 1 and 10 how cool, calm and connected you feel:
When you speak and lead with natural ease and authenticity, you will be closer to 10. When you feel scattered, distracted or unconfident, you will be closer to 1.
What To Do: If you are above a 7 today, notice what's working well and keep doing it. Accept that daily variations in confidence and clarity are normal and natural.
If you are below a 7 today, practise the 6 minute Inner Calm exercise.