2014 Event Announcements
Choose between 3 new coaching programs to help you become the communicator you need to be in 2014.
I close for business on Fri 20 Dec and reopen on Mon 6 Jan, 2014. Thanks for reading with me this year!
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Dear Goddess Of Public Speaking...
" Why do some leaders make you feel inspired and want whatever they are offering? What's the secret?" Lee, OT
"Let's Talk About YOU Not Me:
Getting Your Speaking Ratio Right"
Have you ever wondered why some people have the power to galvanise you into action, seemingly from nowhere? You come away ready to leap out of your chair about something you'd never thought about before, or didn't know how to tackle or just didn't realise that it was such a priority.
What these people get right is their use of the You:Me Ratio when they communicate.
One of the fastest ways to lose an audience (or the attention of your friends and colleagues) is to talk mostly about your self and from your perspective.
Excessive use of "I" and "me" turns listeners off quick-smart. I love the joke about the actress who says: "Enough about me! Let's talk about you! What do you think of my latest movie?"!
Get the Ratio Right
According to my research, a language ratio of 10:1 of You:Me is about the right ratio to generate a balanced and inclusive speech. It leads to greater engagement and even ownership of your ideas because the speaker shows how their idea will work for you.
Examples of me-centred language: "I", "me", "my", "mine".
Examples of you-centred language: "you", "us", them", "they", "we", "our"… "together", "community".
Examine the difference for yourself in the next 2 short examples by noticing how you feel when you read them or even better, say them out loud:
"I consider it imperative to make my health my number one priority. All the money in the world will not make me happy if I'm sick. My workshop today will show you how I did it, so you can too. I believe that health equals happiness."
"All the money in the world will not make you happy if you are sick. We all have so many competing priorities and other people to attend to. This workshop will show you how to clear the clutter of your busy life and how to make your health and you, your number one imperative. Your health equals your happiness."
A Famous Example Of A "You-Centred" Speech
In 1961, American President John Kennedy's inaugural speech "…ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country", bursts beyond the 10:1 Ratio. He used the word "I" only 4 times and uses "you-centred" words 51 times. (Now that's an interesting contrast with the "me-me-centred" speeches given by one of Australia's most recent Prime Ministers.) So do not let the 10:1 Ratio trip you up. It's not a rule, just a guideline to be aware of if you want to inspire, engage and build trust with your listeners.
How To Inspire Collectively When You Speak
Take a look at anything you've recently written, especially if it's of a "speech" type nature or a self-intro. Identify the proportion of "you" versus "me" centred words.
Emphasise "we" and "us" to keep the spotlight on your listeners or audience. Remember, it's not about you, it is about them. A speaker or leader is just a temporary conduit of information to help others understand.
Rewrite your speech or report and make it "you-centred" with a language ratio of at least 10:1 "you's" and "we's" to "I's" and "me's." Notice and enjoy the difference in reaction.
Whenever anyone speaks, it is for the benefit of others, right? If not, you really are just talking to yourself.
If you've ever felt you've missed the mark when you speak and your friends, colleagues or an audience seem to switch off and aren't interested in your ideas, examine your You:Me Ratio. Once you make "you-centred" language a habit, you may now become the communicator you've always longed to be.
Folks, I've refined 3 coaching programs for you to deepen your communication skills (It's not about me remember; it's about you!):
1. Fear & Stage Fright Coaching
2. Presentation Skills Coaching
3. Peace, Purpose & Meaning Coaching
These weekly/fortnightly programs are available by phone, Skype video and a limited number by face to face at my office in Brunswick Heads. Contact me for more information. Hope this article was useful for you today, best wishes, Geraldine.
PS Unless you've already done it, please help me test the efficacy of Facebook on my business by "Liking" my page. Thanks!
Time To Take Your Cool, Calm & Connected Pulse!
Using the Calm Barometer below, rate how cool, calm and connected you feel right now between 1 and 10...
When you speak, lead and live with natural ease and authenticity, you will be closer to 10.
When you feel scattered, distracted or unconfident, you will be closer to 1.
What To Do: If you are "7" or above today, notice what's working well and keep doing it. Accept that daily variations in confidence and clarity are normal. If you are below "7" today, listen to our free recording of the 5 minute Inner Calm exercise. You can also download our 2 free A4 Posters of Inner Calm and the Calm Barometer for your wall.
© 2011, Geraldine Barkworth. Reprintable when full credit is given & whole newsletter is reproduced. Contact Geraldine Barkworth on +61 (2) 6685 1917 or firstname.lastname@example.org
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