I returned from my travels with a bug.....
When I am sick, I want to hide from the world. The last thing that I want to do is to have other people see me while I'm repulsively sub-optimal.
So, here's what I did:
- I noticed and named the automaticity of the moment: hide while you are weak and vulnerable.
- Whenever there is automaticity, there is a pattern.
- That pattern is based on what I over-learned in order to survive.
- I offered myself some compassion around this.
- And then I did something new. (Gotta shift the pattern!)
Now, any change is a stretch for the nervous system.
You want to stretch the nervous system, but not stress the nervous system.
And you gotta do this, many~many~many times, until your nervous system learns a new pattern.
Fortunately, I've already been seeing a wonderful integrative medicine practitioner for intravenous nutrition and neurofeedback to bolster wellness and improve sleep (stress depletes the body on so many levels). So it wasn't too much of a stretch to go and see her while feeling icky-poo-terrible.
So, those changes that you've been wanting to make for yourself but you don't need to right now? Do it right now, so that when you need to, you don't default back to an automatic pattern.
Set boundaries when you're feeling great! So "no" just to practice saying "no"! Share your most vulnerable feelings with a Buddha Board - not when you're feeling lonely and sad - but rather, when you are feeling nurtured and connected.
I'm kinda proud of myself for what I did today. It's the breaking of a lifelong survival-driven pattern. And it's taken years.
Big moments happen as a result of lots and lots of small steps! And I send you encouragement to take that one little itty bitty small step, over and over again.