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AUGUST 5, 2022                                                                                                                                      VOL. 58


Rachel Rogers Correspondence

Letter from the Editor.

Let me formally welcome you to the month of August. It's going to be a good one. Even if you thought maybe it wasn't going to be a good August, you're wrong.

Fun fact: Many of us know the Roman Emperors Julius and Augustus were so obsessed with themselves that they inserted themselves into the calendar as months (#iconic), but why do both months have 31 days? Prior to Augustus, August did not have 31 days but he did not want to seem inferior to Julius, so he stole a day away from February and put it in August (#relatable).

I'm learning that in a book I'm reading (#educateyourself).

You probably all want to know about the bug situation. Well, I saw a spider on my closet door this last week and tried to manually trap it in a sticky box trap that had previously been just sitting on a window sill. I set the box trap on top of the door, where the spider was crawling, and the spider crawled over the trap (#outsmarted).

Nonetheless, Bug Guy came back to check on his traps after a week and we caught two spiders in the basement living room. Some spiders can outsmart me but not every spider can outsmart Bug Guy.

In related news, I sold my bedframe and nightstand. We bought this bed frame maybe ten years ago and it is solid wood and maybe the heaviest and most unmovable piece of furniture I've come across. Someone said some bugs can live in wood bed frames, so that was that. I sold the inconvenient piece of furniture and replaced it with a metal bed frame I bought off of Facebook marketplace (#buyused).

I am without a nightstand currently which means years of journals are just floating around my room. But don't worry, they contain absolutely no secrets about my personal life (#neverdocumentyourfeelings).

I was moving all this furniture around on my dad's birthday (observed). We celebrated Sunday because celebrating on his actual birthday would have meant celebrating on a Tuesday, which is nonsense. No one should have a Tuesday birthday.

Anyone have a close encounter with the owl kind? That's how I started my August. Yes, August 1. I went walking at the Tualatin Hills Nature Park and found myself face to face with an owl (#hoot). The owl was sitting on a branch about 7 feet off the ground, overhanging a bit onto the trail. I was no more than 8 feet away when I realized who was staring at me.

Then I backed the heck up! Give nature space. Also, I've heard of a lot of owl incidents on nearby park trails where owls will swoop at the hats and ponytails of runners and walkers as they pass by. I wasn't ready to test this owl to see if it was one of those owls, so I just waited.

A little bird was chirping incessantly at the owl and I think the owl got annoyed and flew off. I was safe. I love owls! They are also scary! (#healthyrespect).

I also went to a laser Beyoncé show with my sister at OMSI. Have you ever seen a laser Beyoncé show at a planetarium? I'm not sure what caused her to license her music for this show, I'm not sure who made it or why, and I'm also not sure how in the hour show full of greatest hits that the song Naughty Girl (#underrated) made it in, but I do know my sister and I enjoyed ourselves.

Now, guess what is back? Fantasy Football, apparently. Our retired CEO (and father of our current CEO) runs the league and takes it very seriously. He opened up 10 message threads in our league all with different topics to vote on. My biggest concerns? Upping the entrance fee from $20 to $40 and also creating a punishment for the last place team??? Let it be known that I do not even like football. But goodness gracious if I'm not just trying my best (and often #succeeding) to keep the league manager from winning every year.

Lastly, if you were watching episode three of The Rehearsal on HBO Max, a show by Nathan Fielder, you would have seen me, RACHEL! That's right, I made it into the episode. The back of my head definitely got some screen time and it also makes me wish I had done my hair better.

If you are now planning to watch The Rehearsal, do not start with episode three. You need to start at episode one for a variety of reasons that I don't feel like elaborating on today, August 5.

Don't forget to stay #blessed this #August.



Place of the Week
Tualatin Hills Nature Park
Activity of the Week
Assembling a Bed
Video of the Week
Susan Sarandon as Backup Guest
Clickity-click for video
Song of the Week
Calm My Soul - Paper Route
Clickity-click to listen
Safety in Numbers?
When I sit by myself and watch a comedy program at home, I may laugh out loud but I might not. And that's not because the program isn't funny, it's because I am alone. People are more likely to laugh when they hear others laughing, hence laugh tracks. So this newsletter may be hilarious, but we'll never know until I get a group of newsletter subscribers in one room to read it silently to themselves while also together. Really makes you think.
Don't forget to show how much you dislike crows with a cool "Crows are the Worst" shirt! $2 from every sale will benefit Pillsbury United Communities.
Buy Now


Sometimes I am so ahead of trends that people forget I set them. Other times I am so behind on trends that I give up on them. Açaí was almost one of those trends. I had my first açaí bowl this week. I was a bit confused before I saw the açaí bowl because I didn't understand what the base of the bowl was. Yogurt? But no yogurt was listed in the ingredients! I won't hold you in suspense any longer it was an açaí-fruit puree. The texture landed somewhere between a smoothie and an ICEE. I liked it but do not understand the hype. Açaí has not displaced any of my favorite fruits with its performance.
I Love You, Honeybear
I recently began my foray into the music of Father John Misty. I neglected to do so for so long because I believed him to be a country singer. But after a raving album review and a listen-through of FJM's critically acclaimed Pure Comedy I discovered another album of his – I Love You, Honeybear. This album feels like the perfect entrance into the world of FJM. The music itself is retro and lush (except for when it's not, of course) and the lyrics biting and honest. FJM bears his soul sarcastically and honestly in endless and intoxicating quips that can make you laugh out loud, even when by yourself.
My Neighbors
My neighbors are all nice. Sometimes I wonder if they are all fake nice and I am in a horror movie and something is about to go wrong. All my neighbors seem to go to bed early, so if I walk down the road to the mailbox, I feel like I am walking in an apocalypse because I see no one and hear no one. Do I live in a simulation?



Saturday, August 5 - 7:00 PDT
ComedySportz Match
Come watch two teams compete for points and laughs
Masks and proof of vaccination required
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Rachel Rogers · 7034 SW Ash Creek Cr. · Tigard, Or 97223 · USA

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