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This week, we are discussing:
Are you communicating?
Or are you just talking?
How often do you have a conversation with someone and you think you have communicated only to find that you haven't really been heard? Or, if you have been heard you have not been understood? This is the difference between communicating and connection. Communicating is just talking, texting, emailing, letters etc. But when we connect we feel heard and understood.
This seems to have been a common theme this last week in my world. Many people are having conversations that don't have much depth to them. Humans have a deep need for connection. This is why in the distant past we collected together in tribes. There is a sense that you belong to something bigger than yourself and that this belonging will help you to feel connected, understood and loved.
So, how do we go from communicating to connecting. Well, there are a couple of ways. Ask yourself what it is you are trying to express. And then once you have expressed it - Shut up!! How many times have you heard someone trying to tell another person something and they keep talking and talking and talking. You need to make the space for the person you are talking with to respond to you. If you don't do that chances are that they will just tune out to your conversation. They might look like they are listening but they are probably thinking about something else.
The second way is to listen - really well. This means not just hearing the words, but also thinking about what it is they need in that moment. Many people won't tell you what they really want because they don't know. So by listening to them and asking yourself what it is they need in that moment you gain a different perspective and yo0u also tap in to all the other subtleties that go along with talking. You might notice things you hadn't before. A look of confusion as they speak, a tense jaw, the shaking hand... these these will tell you what's really going on often much more than words.
So, this week I would challenge you to come from a place of love when you are communicating and work on truly connecting with each other. Take time, enjoy the conversations and do what you can to make each interaction amazing.
have a great week.
Til next time
Sherry
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“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
Brené Brown
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“We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness.”
Albert Schweitzer
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