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Two systems - Child Safety + Domestic Violence Prevention

Two years ago a group of Mums who'd experienced the Domestic Violence prevention system and Child Safety listed their DO's and DONT's for workers. (See further down.) 

Now in 2023, we're keen to offer Mums and Dads the chance to share: What was helpful? What must change? What could be tried instead?

Your experiences can shape a better system (or systems) in Queensland.

Calling Mums and Dads:
Your voice is important!

If you have ideas to make the systems better, or if you want to share your experience (good or bad), then you're invited to contact us. So if you want to talk more with us at FIN, please contact us here.

DO's and DONT's for workers - by parents

Here's what Mums said in 2021:

  • don’t make mental health a blanket excuse to take my children into care when the mental health issues were borne out of living with violence
  • don’t 'diagnose me' and insist I need to be on medication and make this a part of the plan to get my children returned
  • don’t think it is easy just to leave the [violent] situation, when leaving often escalates violent behaviour
  • don't define me only as a victim of DV
  • don’t believe the first story you hear- it is vital that the perpetrator's tactics are understood
  • don’t make me share visits with the perpetrator or make my visits supervised by the perpetrator
  • don’t discriminate against me because of my DV experience
  • don’t think every DV case is the same. Understand they are complex and unique- no 'one size fits all'. 

  • be aware of the shame I feel
  • know how hard I am working
  • let me decide the time and place for check-in's ie. you could be putting me at risk- listen to me when I say “right now is not a good time”
  • be more DV informed- allow us to be vulnerable and do not judge us if we are emotional
  • have Safe & Together [an approach for workers to be "domestic-violence informed"] properly implemented- I saw a big difference in treatment when this was the case
  • recognise the protective parent knows the perpetrator and their behaviours, but it is not the protective parent's role to do the work for the perpetrator
  • know your biases 
  • keep firm confidentiality as you could be putting me/my family in danger
  • show empathy and compassion for the protective parent
  • know that I can -and do- make progress
  • meet me where I am at; ask me what I need and acknowledge the work I do for myself
  • understand perpetrating violence is a parenting choice and hold the perpetrators accountable

(These words are an excerpt from Equal Chance - Edition 20 - August 2021)

Comment? Feedback?

Your family's rights

The Human Rights Act, and the Charter of Parents Rights say "Families are entitled to protection. Families are the fundamental group unit of society and are entitled to be protected by society and the State."

We hold morning or afternoon teas ('tea time' catchups) with parents to share their experiences with other parents who have walked along the same path.

Get in touch with us to find out the next tea time catchup is.
The Family Inclusion Network SEQ
07 3013 6030
Copyright © 2023 Family Inclusion Network SEQ, All rights reserved.

The Family Inclusion Network SEQ
07 3013 6030

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